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Category: Dog

I live in such a friendly area.

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

I just saw a group of young guys checking that I'd locked my car door. I would have thanked them if they hadn't been so shy and ran off. Okay, here’s my…

Three dogs – Command, Conquer, and Control – are at a research laboratory when they are put back in the kennel after a long day of testing.

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

With his mind alone, Command levitates a pen and paper off the nearby desk, and writes on it, "So did today's training suck or what?" Conquer simply speaks! "It was particularly brutal…

An owner had a racehorse that had never won a race.

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

Finally the owner lost patience and warned the horse: “Either you win this afternoon or you’ll be pulling a milk wagon tomorrow morning.” That afternoon, the horse was lined up with the…

30 years

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Grandfather and grandson are in the park, when a very good looking woman walks by, the grandson says, Grandpa, I bet when you see a woman like that, you wish you were…

A friend asked me how I feel about nudity

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said that personally, it always left me cold Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: The Dog Park Dilemma A new dog owner asked…

The waiter dropped my steak.

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

I told him I didn't want Ground beef. Joke Poo: The Dog Walker Dropped the Ball The dog walker dropped the tennis ball. I told him I didn’t want dropped fetch. Okay,…

The perch problem

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Standing next to the cage the man asks, "I wonder why he is so cheap?" "Because I am defective,"…

A woman walks into a hospital wheeling her husband with her in a wheelbarrow

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

She stops at the front desk and talks to the admitting nurse. "Good day," she says. "Something is wrong with my husband. He was very difficult to wake up this morning, he…

What US military branch is the most patriotic?

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Air Force. Cause they're USAF! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the original joke, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: What kind of dog makes the best secret agent?…

From my 12 year old: To the guy who invented ‘zero’…

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Thanks for nothing. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the original, with the title "Toilet Paper Thoughts": Title: Toilet Paper Thoughts To the person who invented those tiny…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!

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