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Category: Dog

The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss the matter.

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

Dad: "This is unacceptable, I don't use the home phone, I use my work phone." Mom: "Me too, I use my company phone. I hardly use the home phone." Son: "I use…

Mickey Mouse was seeking a divorce

Posted on July 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He consulted a lawyer, but after hearing him out the lawyer told him “I’m sorry, Mr. Mouse, but insanity is not a basis for divorce in this state.” “Gosh, I didn’t say…

Did you hear about the guy who found stir fry all over his bed in the morning?

Posted on July 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He'd been sleep wokking. Joke Poo: Title: Joke Poo Did you hear about the dog who kept finding perfectly sculpted clay sculptures around the yard every morning? He’d been sleep barking… at…

I once knew a guy arrested on drug charges, and though he thought he’d get off light, they ended up slapping a bunch of other bogus charges on him, which, added to the fact that his lawyer was one of the worst in the state, eventually led him to being handed a 40 year stint in a max security prison.

Posted on July 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

That sentence was way too long. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Resume I once knew a dog applying for a job as a therapy animal. He thought his…

Early one morning, an elephant knocks over a fence and walks out of the zoo.

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

A couple of hours later, the police get a frantic call from an elderly woman: "There's an enormous grey animal in my back yard!" The policeman notes without enthusiasm: "Uh-huh. Grey animal….

A scammer called my grandma and said he had all her passwords…

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

She got a pen and paper and said, 'thankgod for that, what are they' Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the password scammer joke: Joke Poo: The Dog…

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

Curious, he walks in and asks the owner, “So, what can your dog do?” The owner points to the dog and says, “Go ahead, tell him.” The dog looks up and says,…

Walking my dog through the cemetery. I spotted a man crouching by a gravestone.

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Morning!" I shouted. " "No, just having a shit" Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original, titled “Constipated Chef”: Joke Poo: Constipated Chef Walking through the kitchen,…

Brainwashed

Posted on July 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

When people tell me that in Mother Russia we all are brainwashed I laugh! I don't think it's funny and I don't want to laugh, but I can't help myself. Okay, here’s…

My first job was as a mannequin in a clothing store window. I was very good at it.

Posted on July 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

I held that position for a long time. Okay, here’s a new joke based on your original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: My First Gig My first gig was as a professional…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.

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