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Category: Dog

What is July 4 to those who have lost their independence?

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

In Depends Day Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the “July 4th/Depends Day” joke: Joke Poo: What is Thanksgiving to a family who forgot to thaw the turkey? In-digestion Day. Alright,…

My son was just born, and another dad at the nursery, congratulated me, and said his daughter was born yesterday said maybe they’ll marry each other someday.

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Sure, only if my son is into marrying someone twice his age…yeah right! Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of your joke, titled… well, titled “Joke Poo.” Joke Poo My dog just…

Father John and Blossom

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

I've had this one for a couple decades now. I think it still works. A newly ordained priest was assigned to a quaint little town and he arrived on a nice sunny…

Married couple

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

discussing erectile disfunction with a surgeon. "Well medication is not helping so we would have to operate. You have 3 options" "We can do reconstruction of your pubococcygeus muscle. Level 1 surgery…

My dad used to save rolls of quarters. One time I asked him why.

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

He said the only constant in life is change. Joke Poo: Title: My Dog’s Stash My dog used to bury bone-shaped dog biscuits all over the yard. One day, I asked him…

Autopsy Club

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Super excited about the amateur autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is Open Mike night! Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" riff on the autopsy club joke: Joke Poo: Dog Grooming Circle Super…

I often tell my wife she looks like Charlize Theron in her Oscar winning performance.

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Thank god she still hasn’t look that one up. Okay, here’s a joke riffing on the original, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: I often tell my dog he reminds me of Lassie…

Tonto

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight…

I told my wife that if sex was an Olympic sport I’d win a Gold medal..

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

In the singles division.. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your original joke, titled "Joke Poo": Title: Joke Poo I told my dog that if begging for food…

I set my cruise control exactly how my grandpa likes it.

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Pegged at 80. Okay, I understand the goal. Here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your original cruise control joke: Joke Poo: Toilet Training Technology I programmed my smart toilet…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.

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