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Category: Dog

2 Economists are walking down country side

Posted on July 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

They see a bull turd One of them goes: “He-he, i’ll give you $1,000 if you eat it” The second one starts gobbling it up, finishes it all “You owe me $1,000”…

What do you call a promiscuous woman that is mathematically inclined

Posted on July 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

It's the thot that counts. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, riffing on the original while trying to maintain a similar structure and unexpected twist: Title: Joke Poo What do you call…

A Geordie was so devoted to his pet dog that when it died

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

he wanted it commemorated in the form of a gold statue. So he went to a local jeweller’s shop and asked: “Can ya make me a gold statue of ma dog?” “Certainly,…

My wife says I never listen

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

… or something like that. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the “My wife says I never listen…” joke: Joke Poo: My Dog’s Therapist My dog’s therapist says…

I’ve decided to write a book about all of the things I should’ve done in my life.

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

It’s my oughtabiography Joke Poo: I’m compiling a comprehensive list of all the times my dog almost buried his bone in the garden… It’s my near-bone disposal! Alright, let’s dissect this pun-tastic…

A 7-year-old & 4-year-old are in their bedroom.

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

“You know what,” says the 7-year-old, “I think it’s time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I’ll swear first, then you.” “OK,” says the 4-year-old. Mum asks the 7-year-old…

Joe goes to a fortune teller and she tells him he’ll have unspeakable grief in 12 years.

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

He was feeling pretty down when he left, so he got a puppy to cheer himself up. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your prompt, titled “Compost Catastrophe”:…

When my 4-year-old son is afraid of a bug, I always tell him that the bug is probably more scared of him than he is of the bug.

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

He always asks me why, and I say: -Because to the little bug, you're a giant monster. Today, on our way to school, I was disgusted by a poo on the pavement….

My cousin always says he has a photographic memory

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

That's because it needs developing Okay, here’s the original joke and then my “Joke Poo” version: Original Joke: My cousin always says he has a photographic memory. That’s because it needs developing….

What is the fear of seeing all species of donkeys at once called?

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Thalassophobia Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original: Joke Poo: The Unflushed What do you call the obsessive need to document every instance of your dog defecating?…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
  • So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.
  • Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!
  • A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
  • A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
  • 3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question
  • My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.

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