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Category: Dog

My wife caught me when I was masturbating.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Never doing that on a ladder again. Okay, here’s a joke riffing on the original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: My dog caught me while I was practicing my ventriloquism. Never doing…

car accident

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

While driving, I swerved to avoid a dog, lost control, and fell into a ditch. As I crawled out, all dirty and scratched, a beautiful woman stopped her car and asked, “Are…

My wife and I are a 9 to 5 couple.

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

She’s a 9, I’m a 5 Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” inspired by your original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: My dog and I are a “retrieve” team. He…

What is July 4 to those who have lost their independence?

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

In Depends Day Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the “July 4th/Depends Day” joke: Joke Poo: What is Thanksgiving to a family who forgot to thaw the turkey? In-digestion Day. Alright,…

My son was just born, and another dad at the nursery, congratulated me, and said his daughter was born yesterday said maybe they’ll marry each other someday.

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Sure, only if my son is into marrying someone twice his age…yeah right! Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of your joke, titled… well, titled “Joke Poo.” Joke Poo My dog just…

Father John and Blossom

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

I've had this one for a couple decades now. I think it still works. A newly ordained priest was assigned to a quaint little town and he arrived on a nice sunny…

Married couple

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

discussing erectile disfunction with a surgeon. "Well medication is not helping so we would have to operate. You have 3 options" "We can do reconstruction of your pubococcygeus muscle. Level 1 surgery…

My dad used to save rolls of quarters. One time I asked him why.

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

He said the only constant in life is change. Joke Poo: Title: My Dog’s Stash My dog used to bury bone-shaped dog biscuits all over the yard. One day, I asked him…

Autopsy Club

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Super excited about the amateur autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is Open Mike night! Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" riff on the autopsy club joke: Joke Poo: Dog Grooming Circle Super…

I often tell my wife she looks like Charlize Theron in her Oscar winning performance.

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Thank god she still hasn’t look that one up. Okay, here’s a joke riffing on the original, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: I often tell my dog he reminds me of Lassie…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
  • A man checked into a hotel
  • An Amish girl riding a horse and buggy gets pulled over by a cop
  • Brainwashed
  • How did Methuselah die?
  • Why do disciples of motivational speakers never succeed?
  • An American, a Japanese and a Chinese
  • Have you met Eric? He’s a genie. He’s not special or anything.
  • Monkeys Playing Football
  • My sister says she needs peace while cooking and told everyone to not make any noise.
  • I learned to mind my own business today
  • My first job was as a mannequin in a clothing store window. I was very good at it.
  • A mother was anxiously awaiting her twenty-year-old daughter’s return home from a year of overseas travel.
  • I have sex 24/7
  • I’m a corn, not a man!
  • A scoutmaster was teaching his scouts about survival.
  • The pet store
  • The pull-apart tart
  • My sister tells people she turned vegan for love
  • How do prostitutes plan their day?
  • What board game will narcissists NEVER play?
  • I just read in the news that Ben Grimm is leaving the Fantastic 4
  • I invented a thought-controlled air freshener.
  • I’m reading a horror in braille, and tbh I’m terrified…
  • Today I seen….
  • A man and a giraffe walk into a bar and they order drinks.
  • I sat next to this South African woman on a plane and we really hit it off. We spent the whole flight chatting in her native Xhosa language.
  • The dry cleaner.
  • I told a joke this morning in a Zoom meeting. No one laughed.
  • There once was a woman with 100 children.
  • I watched 50 Cent play half a round of golf.
  • Not one person wished me a happy birthday yesterday.
  • Two cumulus clouds are up in the sky having a chat.
  • Kids today are so addicted to technology.
  • An elderly couple is getting ready for bed
  • A woman was telling her neighbour about the supermarket that had opened recently on the outskirts of town.
  • the pope’s secretary rings him:
  • 3 boys find a $20 bill on the ground..
  • My missus is going to a fancy dress party tonight, she went out yesterday and hired a costume.
  • My girlfriend asked me to roleplay as a cheater, so I said okay.
  • A married couple were shopping in the supermarket
  • At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”
  • Why did the philosopher refuse to clean his room?
  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger

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