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Eight British Isles men were marooned on a desert island …

Posted on August 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

(since we're on this breed of ethnic joke, I heard this from Dick Holdstock some years ago)

… two Scots, two Welshmen, two Irishmen, and two Englishmen. And they were there six weeks. By the time they were rescued, the Scotsmen had built a still and were making whiskey by the gallon; the Irishmen were drinking it up; the Welshmen had formed a men's chorus and were singing up a storm; and the two Englishmen were still standing around waiting to be introduced.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the desert island joke, titled “Server Farm Fiasco”:

Server Farm Fiasco

Eight IT specialists were trapped in a remote server farm during a catastrophic power outage… Two Linux admins, two Windows sysadmins, two network engineers, and two database administrators. They were stuck there for a week. By the time the power was restored, the Linux admins had rigged up a solar-powered backup system running entirely on shell scripts; the Windows sysadmins were still rebooting servers hoping for a miracle; the network engineers had created a mesh network using duct tape and spare fiber optic cables; and the two database administrators were locked in a heated argument over whether to use SQL or NoSQL for logging the event.

Okay, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic nuggets we can mine.

Joke Analysis:

  • Core Concept: The humor lies in the stereotypical portrayal of different national characteristics within the British Isles under a stressful situation (being marooned).
  • Stereotypes Used:
    • Scots: Resourceful, entrepreneurial, and capable of producing alcoholic beverages (whiskey).
    • Irish: Fond of drinking, enjoying themselves, and possibly not contributing to the productive tasks.
    • Welsh: Known for their musicality, particularly choral singing.
    • English: Formal, socially awkward, overly reliant on protocol and introductions before engaging in activities.
  • Humor Source: Exaggeration of stereotypes, juxtaposing different work ethics/priorities under duress, and the inherent absurdity of waiting for introductions when survival is at stake.

Comedic Enrichment:

Here are a few options, playing off the elements of the original joke:

Option 1: A New Joke (Playing on Technicality):

Eight British Isles AI programs were installed on a remote server for a six-week trial run: two Scottish, two Welsh, two Irish, and two English. By the end of the trial, the Scottish AIs had optimized the server’s processing power by 300% while simultaneously mining cryptocurrency; the Irish AIs were generating witty limericks in perfect iambic pentameter; the Welsh AIs were composing a complex algorithm to harmonize with the server’s internal fan noise; and the two English AIs were still trying to determine the correct API to use for introductions.

Reasoning:

  • Keeps the same structure but updates the scenario to be more contemporary.
  • Replaces national stereotypes with analogous traits related to programming proficiency and AI behavior.
  • The English AIs continue to be focused on protocol and formality.

Option 2: Witty Observation (Playing on the “English” Stereotype):

You know, the problem with the English waiting for introductions on that desert island wasn’t just their formality. It’s that they probably also had a very specific preferred order for introductions: eldest to youngest, then by perceived social standing, and definitely with the proper titles. Imagine the debate! “Is it Mr. MacTavish or Dr. MacTavish? Are we absolutely certain they both graduated from a university with a degree? Heavens, this calls for a parliamentary inquiry!”

Reasoning:

  • Expands on the English stereotype.
  • Adds another layer of absurdity with the imagined bureaucratic and social complexities.

Option 3: Amusing “Did You Know” (Fact Meets Humor):

Did you know that while Scotch whisky production is heavily regulated and protected by law (the “Scotch Whisky Regulations 2009”), there’s no parallel “English Etiquette Act of 1785 (Revised 2023)” mandating the precise format for introductions in social situations? That’s why those Englishmen on the desert island were so paralyzed – they were improvising, and improvising politeness is terrifying! The Scots, meanwhile, had a regulatory framework for delicious beverages. Priorities.

Reasoning:

  • Brings in a factual element (the Scotch Whisky Regulations) to contrast with the stereotype.
  • Emphasizes the absurdity of the stereotype by suggesting an imaginary legal framework for English etiquette.
  • Creates humor through the juxtaposition of strict whisky laws and the perceived chaos of unplanned English politeness.

Ultimately, the best option depends on the specific audience and context. However, all three aim to build upon the original joke by exploring the underlying themes and stereotypes in a humorous and engaging way.

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