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Free Sex with Fill-Up!

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'

Liam pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

Liam guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time."

A week later, Liam, along with his friend Finley, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

Liam guessed 2. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, Finley said to Liam, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex at all."

Liam replied, "No, it's genuine enough Finley. My wife won twice last week."

Joke Poo: Free Advice with Coffee!

A struggling life coach in Brooklyn was desperate for clients, so she put up a sign that read, “Free Life Advice with Coffee Purchase!”

Chad, a hipster with existential dread, ordered a cold brew and asked for his free advice. The life coach told him to pick a tarot card from her deck. If the card resonated, he’d get the free life advice.

Chad pulled “The Tower.” The life coach said, “Ah, a card of upheaval! Hmm, I sense change. What resonates with you most, Chad? Are you unhappy with your current path?”

Chad shrugged. “Not really. I just liked the picture on the card.”

A week later, Chad, along with his friend, Brenda, who was secretly dating his roommate, came back. He ordered a pour-over and again asked for his free advice.

The life coach, clearly recognizing him, sighed dramatically and said, “Very well. Another card. This time, focus your inner energy on aligning with the cosmos!”

Chad picked “The Fool.” The life coach said, “Hmm, new beginnings, a leap of faith… Perhaps you’re about to embark on a journey! A new adventure!”

As they were leaving, Brenda said to Chad, “I think she’s just making stuff up. That’s not real life advice.”

Chad replied, “Nah, it’s pretty legit. My roommate got out of jury duty with the ‘Death’ card last week.”

Okay, let’s analyze this joke and then inject some humor-enhancing tidbits.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: A petrol station uses “Free Sex with Fill-Up” as a sales gimmick.
  • Setup: The owner employs a number-guessing game to seemingly fairly award the “prize.”
  • Punchline: The punchline reveals that the wife of one of the customers has won the “prize” multiple times, implying an affair between her and the petrol station owner, and undermining the fairness of the game.
  • Humor Source: The humor arises from:
    • Juxtaposition: The incongruity of sex being offered as a retail promotion.
    • Implied Infidelity: The suggestion of an affair is the core of the humor.
    • Understatement: Liam’s matter-of-fact delivery about his wife winning minimizes the impact of the situation, enhancing the humor.

Key Elements to Exploit for Further Humor:

  • Irish Setting: We can lean into Irish stereotypes or trivia.
  • The Number Game: Probability, odds, and gaming theory offer comedic potential.
  • Gas/Petrol Stations: Unexpected facts about petrol sales or stations can be funny.
  • Infidelity: Always ripe for comedic exploration.

Comedic Enrichment:

Here are a few options:

1. A New Joke (playing on probability and Irish humor):

Old Mrs. O’Malley went to the same petrol station as Liam. When she filled up, she was offered the ‘Free Sex’ game. She looked at the owner and said, “Ach, I’m not really one for guessing numbers. Tell you what, give me the odds. And make it a double, just like my usual whiskey. If I like the odds, I’ll take the… um… prize.”

Why it works: It adds a layer of complexity to the original scenario by considering the likelihood of success in the number game, implying the wife is mathematically gifted. The “double” reference plays on typical Irish stereotypes.

2. A Witty Observation (playing on the commercial aspect and gas prices):

It’s a testament to the state of the Irish economy that petrol stations have to resort to offering “Free Sex with Fill-Up” to compete. You know the fuel prices are outrageous when people would rather gamble on intimacy than pay for a full tank.

Why it works: This highlights the absurdity of the initial premise, connecting it to real-world concerns of high gas prices.

3. A ‘Did You Know’ with a Punchline (playing on the history of gas stations and relationships):

Did you know that early petrol stations in the United States were often located next to blacksmith shops? And blacksmiths, being skilled with metal and having a steady flow of customers, were often considered pillars of the community… much like certain petrol station owners in Ireland, apparently.

Why it works: This mixes an interesting historical fact with a clever callback to the punchline of the original joke. The sudden connection to modern Ireland adds an unexpected twist.

4. Alternative joke with a twist

Liam and Finley, were driving down the road when they saw the sign ‘Free Sex with Fill-up’. Liam looked at Finley, winked and said “I hope you’re lucky. Last time I filled up, it was with your wife.”

Why it works: Adds a more devious layer to the story.

I’ve tried to weave in the elements of the original joke while introducing new layers of humor based on related facts or stereotypes. I believe these additions enhance the comedic impact without straying too far from the initial setup.

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