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Fake Poo

Girlfriend needs a seat!

Posted on September 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

The train was standing room only. My girlfriend really wanted to sit down so she said "Will anyone kindly give up their seat for a pregnant girl?"

A guy stood up and said "Congratulations Miss – how far along are you?"

"Thank you sir – about an hour and a half!"

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” playing off the original:

Joke Poo: New Promotion

The office was buzzing with anticipation. Everyone wanted the new Senior Manager position. Sarah, known for her bold moves, walked into the CEO’s office and said, “Will anyone kindly offer this promotion to a heavily qualified candidate?”

The CEO, intrigued, looked up and said, “Absolutely, Sarah! Tell me, how qualified are you for this role?”

Sarah beamed and replied, “Thank you, sir! About to be!”

Alright, let’s dissect this joke!

Joke Analysis:

  • Premise: A crowded train, girlfriend wants a seat.
  • Setup: Girlfriend announces she’s pregnant to get a seat.
  • Punchline: The “pregnancy” is from eating a large meal (“about an hour and a half”).
  • Humor Type: Wordplay/Misdirection. We expect a literal pregnancy; we get a figurative one. It also relies on the social convention of offering seats to pregnant women.
  • Key Elements:
    • Pregnancy (expected, then subverted)
    • Public Transport (crowded train)
    • Polite Society/Chivalry (expectation of offering a seat)
    • Time (measuring pregnancy vs. digestion)

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s leverage these elements to create some new humor! I’ll go for a witty observation/alternative punchline approach:

New Bit:

“The train was packed, so my girlfriend announces she’s ‘eating for two’ to get a seat. Some guy offers her one immediately. She’s beaming, sits down, and then he leans in and whispers, ‘You know, the average human stomach only holds about a quart of food. Anything more than that, and it’s probably just gas. Hope you brought some Tums.'”

Why it works:

  • Builds on the original: Keeps the core setup of wanting a seat on a train.
  • Twist: Uses a biological fact (stomach capacity) to subvert the eating-for-two pregnancy association.
  • Humor Style: Observational humor combined with a bit of awkwardness.
  • Reference Point: The added humor plays on people’s knowledge about bloating and gut health.

Todays SH1T Jokes

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