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God is speaking to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden

Posted on July 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

He says to Adam, "Sence you were born first you get the option. You can either pee standing up, or-"

Adam immediately interrupts and says "Oh holy shit, I want to pee standing up. That sounds awesome."

God says "But… You haven't heard the other option?"

"I don't care. I want to pee standing up. So convenient and awesome."

God sighs…. "Ok… Well Eve, I guess you get multiple orgasms."

Joke Poo: The Startup Pitch

A Venture Capitalist (VC) is listening to a new tech startup founder, Zuckie, pitching his revolutionary AI poo-analyzing toilet.

The VC says to Zuckie, “Since you’re the CEO, you get the first choice. You can either have the toilet analyze the structural integrity and predict future plumbing problems, or…”

Zuckie immediately interrupts, eyes wide, “Oh holy shit, I want the plumbing analysis! That sounds game-changing! Predictive maintenance for poo! Think of the efficiency!”

The VC raises an eyebrow. “But… you haven’t heard the other option?”

“I don’t care! Plumbing analysis it is! We’ll corner the market on pre-emptive clog detection!”

The VC sighs, leans back in his chair, and says, “Okay… Well, Steve Jobs’ ghost gets eternal control of your UI/UX design.”

Alright, let’s dissect this Garden of Eden joke!

Key Elements:

  • Genesis/Biblical Context: The joke draws on the familiar setting of the Garden of Eden and the creation story.
  • Adam’s Impulsiveness: Adam is portrayed as hasty, prioritizing immediate gratification without considering the alternatives.
  • Gendered Advantages: The joke plays on stereotypes of gender-specific perks, with standing urination presented as inherently desirable to men and multiple orgasms to women.
  • God’s Disappointment: God’s sigh implies a mild frustration at Adam’s short-sightedness and the perceived imbalance created.
  • Subverted Expectation: The humor comes from Adam valuing the apparently trivial benefit of standing to pee over the unknown (but potentially superior) other option.

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s leverage these elements to create a “Did You Know?” style humorous observation:

Did You Know:

While Adam famously jumped at the chance to pee standing up in the Garden of Eden, modern urologists have discovered that squatting may actually be better for bladder emptying? Turns out, his initial enthusiasm might have stemmed less from divine design and more from a garden-fresh case of “FOMO: Fountain of Missing Opportunities.” He was so eager for the new experience, he didn’t stop to think about optimal angles for flow! And you thought original sin was about apples…

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