Two guys are out playing golf when they come to a hole near the edge of the course where a road runs past. Just as they are about to tee off, a funeral procession drives down the road. The guy at the tee stops, takes his hat off and respectfully waits for it to pass and then gets ready to take his shot.
"That's damn decent of you mate" says his playing partner.
"Least I could do", he says, "I mean, I was married to her for 20 years".
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of that joke, titled accordingly:
Joke Poo: Composting Colleagues
Two gardeners are working in a community garden when they come to a compost bin near the edge of the property, facing a busy sidewalk. Just as they’re about to add their vegetable scraps, a refuse truck from a rival landscaping company drives by, overflowing with lawn clippings and tree limbs. The gardener at the bin stops, carefully separates out the vegetable scraps, and then respectfully tosses the rest of his clippings in after the truck passes.
“That’s awfully considerate of you, considering they’re your competition,” says his fellow gardener.
“Least I could do,” he says, “I mean, I was using their service for five years”.
Okay, let’s break down this golf joke and then generate some humorous follow-up content.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Two golfers, location near a road and funeral procession. Establishes a context ripe for social interaction and potential expectation of courtesy.
- Action: One golfer stops to pay respects to the funeral procession, creating an impression of deep respect.
- Twist/Punchline: The ‘respect’ is revealed to be highly personal (ex-wife’s funeral), and the length of the marriage (20 years) is added for an extra ironic punch. This undermines the initial assumption of generalized respect and introduces a darkly humorous, and potentially vindictive, element.
Key Elements:
- Golf: Represents leisure, relaxation, often associated with affluence.
- Funeral Procession: Represents somberness, loss, respect for the deceased.
- Respect/Courtesy: The apparent outward behavior versus the underlying motive.
- Marriage/Divorce: A complex relationship with potentially conflicting emotions.
- Irony/Dark Humor: The humor stems from the unexpected, twisted motivation.
Humorous Enrichment:
Here are a few options, playing on different angles of the original joke:
1. Witty Observation:
Golf is a game of inches…and grudges. Apparently, even death doesn’t grant immunity from a twenty-year backswing. I bet he was muttering “fore-giveness… eventually.”
Why it works: This highlights the core irony of the joke – the lingering bitterness despite the somber occasion. It uses golf terminology (“inches,” “backswing”, “fore”) to connect it to the original setting, while adding a humorous twist on the concept of forgiveness.
2. ‘Did You Know’ Dark Humor:
Did you know: statistically, the average golf course hosts more funerals than weddings? Okay, maybe not actual funerals. But think of all those golf balls that meet their untimely end in water hazards. It’s practically a watery grave for a Titleist. And I bet at least one of them was driven there in anger by someone thinking about their ex.
Why it works: This uses a fabricated “did you know” to create an unexpected connection between golf and death, exaggerating the ‘loss’ of golf balls. It also loops back to the theme of anger and exes, similar to the original joke’s dark humor.
3. New Joke Variation:
A golfer slices his drive badly, sending the ball directly into an open grave at a nearby funeral. He’s horrified and rushes over. The priest looks at him sternly and says, “Sir, this is a solemn occasion. Have you no respect?” The golfer replies, “I do! I was just trying to get closer to my lying mother-in-law than I ever managed when she was alive.”
Why it works: This recreates the setup of the original joke but inverts the specific details. Instead of the appearance of respect, it now has an actual disruption of a funeral. The punchline delivers the same dark, irreverent twist by revealing a personal, vindictive motivation behind the disruptive behavior.
4. Related observation
What’s the worst place to slice a golf ball? My ex-wife’s funeral.
What’s the best place to slice a golf ball? My ex-wife’s funeral.
Why it works: This has a simple setup that uses the key element of the original joke. The punchline has a double meaning that relates to how someone feels.