The bartender says they only allow service animals, not emotional support animals wearing a $25 yellow vest you can buy on Etsy. On top of that, it’s dangerous to others. So the alligator has to leave.
The guy says the alligator is trained and tame. He puts it across 4 bar stools, tells it to open his mouth (which the gator amazingly does on command), and he puts his hand in the gator’s mouth.
The barkeep says that’s very nice, but it’s dangerous and must go
The gent then says – “look at this” and sticks his head in the animal’s mouth
The bartender, trying to stay polite, tells him that’s impressive, but they still must leave. Against policy, and not willing to take a chance on customer safety.
The guy decides to perform one last, over the top demonstration. He unzips his fly, and puts his dick in the alligator’s mouth. He picks up a bottle of beer off the bar, and proceeds to bash the gator on the top of its head.
The guy exclaims “Look, this alligator is trained, tame, and perfectly safe. Does anyone else here want to give it a try?”
An attractive, nicely dressed lady at the far end of the bar raises her hand, and says, “I will, just don’t hit me on the head so hard”
Joke Poo: The Internship
A young intern walks into a tech startup office with his emotional support Tamagotchi.
The HR manager says they only allow service animals, not emotional support digital pets wearing a $5 miniature lanyard you can buy on AliExpress. On top of that, it’s distracting to others trying to code. So the Tamagotchi has to be deleted.
The intern says the Tamagotchi is well-behaved and low-maintenance. He puts it on his desk, tells it to perform a "trick" (which the pixelated creature amazingly does on command, displaying a tiny pixelated dance).
The HR manager says that’s cute, but it’s still a distraction and must go. Against company policy, and not conducive to a productive work environment.
The intern decides to perform one last, over the top demonstration. He plugs the Tamagotchi into the office’s main server via a USB cable.
The HR manager, now visibly panicked, tries to stop him, but it’s too late. The intern initiates a command sequence on the Tamagotchi.
The intern exclaims, "Look, this Tamagotchi is skilled, efficient, and perfectly safe. Does anyone else here want to automate their tasks?"
A senior engineer, usually buried in code, raises his hand, eyes gleaming, and says, "I will, but can it handle legacy systems?"
Okay, let’s dissect this joke.
Key Elements:
- The Setup: A guy brings an emotional support alligator into a bar.
- The Conflict: Bartender refuses entry despite the man’s demonstrations of the alligator’s supposed tameness.
- Escalation: The demonstrations become increasingly absurd and risky.
- The Punchline: A woman is willing to try the stunt, but asks to be spared the head-bashing.
Joke Analysis:
The humor comes from the escalating absurdity of the situation and the surprising punchline. The listener anticipates a resolution related to the alligator’s safety or the man’s persistence. Instead, the woman’s offer implies a different kind of risk/reward calculation, subverting expectations. The "just don’t hit me on the head so hard" adds to the humor by acknowledging the inherent danger and suggesting a willingness to overlook it for… reasons.
Humorous Enrichment – "Alligator Did You Know?"
Original Joke Inspired "Did You Know?":
Did you know? While alligators are apex predators, their bite force, though formidable, isn’t uniform across their jaws. They can apply immense pressure with their back teeth for crushing shells and bones, but their front teeth are better suited for gripping and tearing. So, technically, if you were to stick your head in an alligator’s mouth (not recommended!), your skull might be safer closer to the front… though you’d still face other, more pressing problems, like, you know, being inside an alligator’s mouth. Also, alligators have between 74 and 80 teeth in their mouth at a time, and can go through 2,000 to 3,000 teeth in a lifetime! All of a sudden, the head bashing seems even more crazy.