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Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator

Posted on September 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

The hostess has an expression of shock, but he smiles, and says “We don’t have a reservation, but I’m wondering – do you serve lawyers here?”

She regains a bit of composure due to his friendliness, and replies “Yes, of course we serve lawyers, and you don’t need a reservation right now”

So the guy says “Thank you. We would like a corner booth in the back. I’ll have the Chicken Piccata and a glass of Chianti, and my friend will have a lawyer”

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the alligator joke:

Joke Poo: The Martian Pet

A little green Martian walks into a bustling intergalactic spaceport cantina, dragging his emotional support Earthworm on a leash.

The Gruff, a four-armed bartender with scales and glowing eyes, stares at them. The Martian, undeterred, shimmies up to the bar and chirps, “Greetings, barkeep! We require sustenance. Tell me, do you happen to serve Diplomats here?”

The Gruff narrows his many eyes, scratches his chin with one claw, and rumbles, “Diplomats? Sure, we serve ’em. Keeps the peace, you know.”

The Martian beams, and gestures towards a booth. “Excellent! Then I will have the Nebula Noodle Supreme with extra stardust, and my friend here will have… a Welsh one.”

Okay, let’s dissect this joke!

Key Elements:

  • The Absurdity: A guy walks into a restaurant with an emotional support alligator. This immediately sets an unrealistic, comical scene.
  • Misdirection/Wordplay: The setup implies the question about serving lawyers is about discriminatory practices or legal services. The punchline reveals a literal, darker meaning: the alligator will eat the lawyer.
  • Subversion of Expectations: We expect a question about reservations or dietary needs, not a macabre menu request.
  • Dark Humor: The joke leans into a morbidly funny concept – feeding a lawyer to an alligator.

Analysis:

The humor stems from the contrast between the polite restaurant setting and the violent implication of the alligator’s “meal.” The lawyer is dehumanized, becoming just another item on the menu.

Comedic Enrichment:

Now, let’s use some interesting tidbits to create a new joke and observation:

Tidbit 1: Alligators have a bite force of around 2,980 PSI (pounds per square inch). That’s enough to crush a bowling ball!

Tidbit 2: Chicken Piccata, the man’s order, is traditionally made with chicken breast, lemon juice, capers, and butter.

New Joke:

A lawyer walks into that same Italian restaurant, sees the guy with the emotional support alligator and immediately excuses himself to call a friend. “Hey, I need you to do some research. What’s the statute of limitations on alligator food?”

Amusing Observation:

Did you know that ordering Chicken Piccata and a lawyer in the same sitting is actually a brilliantly balanced meal? The rich, buttery Piccata provides the fat content, while the lawyer provides…well, let’s just say they both contain a significant amount of sodium.

Enhancement of the Original Joke (Amusing ‘Did You Know’):

Adding to the original joke:

The hostess, after seating them, nervously asks, “Sir, one question…do you prefer the lawyer al dente or…well-done?”

Why this works:

  • It continues the dark humor theme.
  • It adds another layer of absurdity and unexpectedness.
  • It connects the alligator’s consumption with the Italian restaurant setting by using Italian culinary terms.

The humor is derived from the implication of culinary preferences applying to such a gruesome meal.

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