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Category: Heaven

An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

He petitions a demon who checks and say yeah it was a mistake but tough luck, you're here now. So the engineer makes the best of it, installing a light rail system…

A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

On the table, she begins to pray, "Dear Lord, please let me get through the surgery all right." She hears that voice, "Don't worry my child, you will live to be 87yo."…

A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

St. Peter welcomes the all and asks them to have a seat and wait. The three looked each other, confused. Just then a truck driver arrived. At. Peter lit up and warmly…

3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

He turns to the first num and asks "who was the first man on earth"? "Adam" she replies. Trumpets sound, the sky lights up, and the gates open for her to enter….

A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven.

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

Upon entering heaven, he sees two lines leading to the pearly gates: the free will line, and the predestination line. Naturally he goes to the predestination line. While waiting in queue, an…

Pope Innocent XII died and went to Heaven

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

As he passes the pearly gates, and angel asks, "Aren't you Innocent VI? He replies, "I'm not, that, Innocent." Okay, here’s my attempt at “Joke Poo,” inspired by the Pope Innocent XII…

God forgot something !

Posted on July 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

So God created heaven and earth and dropped Adam and Eve in the Garden. God comes back 4 days later. Says, "Hey guys, I forgot a couple things. Who wants to pee…

Politician dies and gets to chose between Heaven and Hell (it’s not that one)

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Politician dies and is given the choice between going to Heaven or Hell, but first he is given a tour of both places. The tour of Heaven goes as expected, it's all…

A woman dies just after finding out her husband was having an affair

Posted on June 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

When she makes it to heaven, the angel at the gate asked her if she can spell "Love" before letting her in. And she does so. Eventually she earns her wings and…

Two Jerks Die and Arrive at the Pearly Gates.

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

St Peter checks his notes and lets them know that the chances of their being let in are slim because of their extensive history of burglary, theft, and stealing. The guys plead…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
  • So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.
  • Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!
  • A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
  • A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
  • 3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question
  • My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.

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