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Category: Heaven

I wanted to stalk my friend, so I went to a detective agency to hire a spy. He said that they were all hired already.

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Talk about out of stalk. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original joke: Joke Poo: Toilet Trouble I wanted to unclog my toilet, so I called a…

After 60 years of marriage, Earl and Mabel made a deal.

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Whoever kicks the bucket first has to come back and let the other know if there’s sex in the afterlife. Because let’s be honest – no one wants to be stuck in…

3 guys

Posted on July 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

Killed in a car crash on Christmas Eve. St. Pete says “OK, it’s Christmas if you can make anything in your pockets relate to Christmas I’ll let you in”. First guy strikes…

St.Peter Decides He’s Accepting Only Amusing Cases To Heaven…

Posted on July 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

…as he's bored with all the people's typical deaths and wants to shake it up, just for one day. First person is at the Gates. Peter says "I'm letting you in only…

A man checked into a hotel

Posted on July 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife. He accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without…

An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

He petitions a demon who checks and say yeah it was a mistake but tough luck, you're here now. So the engineer makes the best of it, installing a light rail system…

A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

On the table, she begins to pray, "Dear Lord, please let me get through the surgery all right." She hears that voice, "Don't worry my child, you will live to be 87yo."…

A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

St. Peter welcomes the all and asks them to have a seat and wait. The three looked each other, confused. Just then a truck driver arrived. At. Peter lit up and warmly…

3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

He turns to the first num and asks "who was the first man on earth"? "Adam" she replies. Trumpets sound, the sky lights up, and the gates open for her to enter….

A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven.

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

Upon entering heaven, he sees two lines leading to the pearly gates: the free will line, and the predestination line. Naturally he goes to the predestination line. While waiting in queue, an…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.
  • A high-powered attorney ended up in the hospital for a few days – and let’s just say, he was not the ideal patient.
  • The Cowboy and the Horse Thieves
  • What is a mob boss’ favorite element from the periodic table?
  • Three men are stranded on a desert island
  • My friend wrote a murder mystery set in the TARDIS…
  • U.S. Open
  • Breaking News: The founder of /r/jokes is pregnant
  • Jesus is watching you.
  • Little Johnny comes home from school
  • A boy was once punished by his teacher…
  • A lighthouse keeper on an island subscribes to a monthly magazine

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