…..the vet as he was concerned about changes happening to his dog.
The Rottweiler, whose name was Cerberus, was slowly but surely becoming cross-eyed.
During the examination the vet picked Cerberus up to get a closer look at his eyes. The vet then exclaimed "Mate, I am going to have to put your down dog down!!"
Horatio: "(horrified) WHAT, your going to kill my dog just because he is little cross-eyed".
"Nah mate, he's heavy".
Thank you, thank you, I'll show myself out….. 🙂
Joke Poo: The Accountant’s Burden
Bartholomew, a seasoned accountant, reluctantly brought his prized calculator, a vintage HP-12C that had seen him through countless tax seasons, to… the gadget repair shop. He was concerned about its performance lately.
The calculator, affectionately nicknamed “Cash Cow,” was increasingly displaying inaccurate results and taking an agonizingly long time to perform simple functions.
During the diagnostic process, the repair technician picked Cash Cow up to get a closer look at its display. The technician then exclaimed, “Sir, I’m going to have to put your calculator down!”
Bartholomew: (Panicked) “WHAT! You’re going to destroy my Cash Cow just because it’s a little slow?”
“Nah mate, it’s giving me RSI!”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic uranium we can extract.
Joke Analysis:
- Core Concept: The joke relies on a pun based on the phrase “put your dog down.” It plays on the listener’s (and Horatio’s) expectation that the vet means euthanasia due to Cerberus’s condition. The punchline subverts this expectation by revealing a completely different, mundane reason: the dog is simply too heavy to hold.
- Key Elements:
- Pun: The “put down” double meaning is central.
- Misdirection: The setup leads the audience to believe the issue is serious.
- Juxtaposition: The shocking implication of euthanasia versus the mundane reason creates comedic contrast.
- Breed Choice: Using a Rottweiler (a typically large and potentially intimidating breed) makes the physical humor more believable.
- Name Irony: The dog is named Cerberus, which can be a name for a big dog, because it references the 3-headed hound who guarded the entrance to Hades.
Comedic Enrichment – “Did You Know?” & Observation
Headline: Did You Know? The Real Reason Vets Develop Shoulder Problems Has Nothing To Do With Vaccinations!
Observation:
We’re all quick to assume the worst when a vet uses certain phrases, but sometimes, the biggest threat to Cerberus’s life isn’t a misdiagnosis… it’s just gravity! And a vet with a dodgy rotator cuff. In fact, you know you have a dedicated veterinarian when their pre-exam questionnaire includes “Do you have pet insurance?” AND “Can I deadlift your animal?” Seriously, a lot of vets are now requesting that owners bring a pet stand and hoist with them, so that they can examine the animal without injury.
Further Jokes:
“I told my vet my Cerberus was getting a bit cross-eyed, and he said, ‘Well, you know what they say: A watched pot never gets heavy enough to give a vet a hernia!'”
Or, if the vet was particularly sarcastic:
Horatio: “So, what’s the verdict?”
Vet: “Well, Cerberus here is developing strabismus, also known as crossed eyes. It’s treatable, but I’m afraid the immediate diagnosis is Acute Gravitational Displacement Syndrome. We call it AGDS for short. The cure? I’m putting HIM… down. I’ve had two coffees, it’s only Monday, and I can’t lift him another inch. Your bill is $350. Next!”