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Category: Husband

Two teenage church-goers get married.

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

On their honeymoon night, the groom says “I would really like it if you sucked my dick.” His bride replies “Heavens no, I couldn’t do that, because you wouldn’t respect me in…

The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work—and hadn’t called in either. With a pressing issue on his hands, he decided to phone the…

A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

The man rolls his window down as the cop approaches, who says, "Sir, any reason you're driving so fast?" "Well," the guy says, "I've recently decided to try beekeeping, and I need…

An older couple were lying in bed one night.

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached…

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

That night, the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same s*xy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said, “Honey, do you remember this?”…

A woman cheats on her husband

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

A woman cheats on her husband after years of happy marriage Realizing her mistake, she starts praying to God. "Lord, I know what I did was wrong, but my marriage is the…

So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

The guy says, "Our goddamn mailman is bragging to everyone that he's screwed every woman on his route except one." And his wife says, "I'll bet it's that stuck up bitch across…

Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

There is a very young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple of over 70. All three couples meet with the priest of the church to discuss when and how they…

A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

"What?" says his buddy. "That fat ugly slob I see every morning outside your house?" "That's right," says the first guy. "Jesus," says his buddy. "Why would Bob the mailman want to…

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
  • So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.
  • Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!
  • A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
  • A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
  • 3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question
  • My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.

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