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Category: Husband

I said to my wife “Let’s go out for a drink. Have you ever been in the Carpenter’s Arms?”

Posted on May 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

She said “No I haven’t but I’ve cuddled the gasman.” Joke Poo: The Architect’s Square I said to my husband, "Let’s redecorate the bathroom. Have you ever used the Architect’s Square?" He…

Wife: What’s the difference between a joke and 2 dlcks?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Husband: What? Wife: I can't take a joke Joke Poo: Boss Battle Blues Boss: What’s the difference between a performance review and a double espresso? Employee: What? Boss: I can’t stand a…

A wise man once said: never lie to your wife

Posted on May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because she only asks when she already knows the answer! Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: The Algorithm Knows A seasoned coder once told his protégé: never…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.

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