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Category: Husband

A married couple claimed they never argued in their 25 years of marriage.

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

A married couple claimed they never argued in their 25 years of marriage. A friend asked, "How is that even possible?" The husband explained, "It all started during our honeymoon when we…

As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried “Don’t touch me! I can’t take the pain! I won’t make it! Don’t! CAN’T! WON’T!!”

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Hurry, driver!" I exclaimed. "Her contractions are getting closer together!" Joke Poo: The Coffee Order As the barista furiously steamed milk, the customer wailed, “Don’t touch me! I can’t take the foam!…

A boy turns to his grandfather and says “I bet you $20 I can put that earthworm back in the hole it just crawled from”

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

The grandfather laughs and says "the worm is much too wriggly and the hole is far too small, but sure, I'll take your bet". The boy runs inside the house and returns…

My wife says I never listen

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

… or something like that. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the “My wife says I never listen…” joke: Joke Poo: My Dog’s Therapist My dog’s therapist says…

[NSFW] Sex On The Sabbath

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or pleasure. So he goes to a priest and asks for…

A Chinese man and woman gets married

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

As they go into the bedroom on their wedding night, the woman gets undressed and nervously gets under the sheets. "What's wrong?" the husband asks. The wife replies "I'm just nervous. This…

When I got married, I was always so incompetent about everything around the house.

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

Cleaning, gardening, mowing the lawn.Finally, my wife asked me, "Honey, why can't you do anything right? Why are you always so incompetent?" I told her the truth. I said, "Honey, it makes…

My wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whiskey and two loaves of bread.

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Are we expecting guests?" I asked. "No," she replied. "Then why did you buy so much fucking bread?" Joke Poo: The Compost Heap My neighbor returned from the garden center with six…

Drinking buddies

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Two friends were having their regular drink (or few). The first one says, "I don't know what to do. Every time after our drinks, I sneak into the house as quiet as…

I can’t believe how well I’m accepting my husband’s small manhood.

Posted on July 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

I didn't know I had it in me. Joke Poo: Title: I Can’t Believe It! I can’t believe how well my digestive system is accepting this new probiotic. I didn’t know I…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date

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