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Category: Husband

A man gets called to the hospital where his wife has been laying in a coma for a few months…

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctors pull the husband aside and say, "Your wife’s been unresponsive for months… but we’ve noticed something unusual. During sponge baths, her brain activity spikes whenever we clean… a certain area."…

A husband and wife were grocery shopping.

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

He picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. “What are you doing?” asks the wife. “They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,” he replies. “Put them…

My wife was complaining that the vac was making a terrible whining noise and wasn’t sucking,

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Any idea what's wrong with it?" she asked. "Yeah," I replied, "it probably got married. " I guess sleeping on the sofa today Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, titled: Joke Poo:…

My wife always zones out when I try to talk at length about ancient civilizations.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

She says I just Babylon. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your ancient civilization joke: Joke Poo: The Potting Shed My husband always loses focus when I start…

I bought my new wife a full set of cookery subscriptions for her birthday to help her learn to cook properly.

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

A month later she bought me a porn movie for my birthday. Original Joke: I bought my new wife a full set of cookery subscriptions for her birthday to help her learn…

A loud pounding on the door awakened a man and his wife at 3 AM

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

The man got up and found a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. “Not a chance,” said the husband. “It’s 3:00 in the morning!” He slammed the…

My wife and I are a 9 to 5 couple.

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

She’s a 9, I’m a 5 Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” inspired by your original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: My dog and I are a “retrieve” team. He…

Two married marine biologists have a competition.

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

They want to see which one of them can discover a new species first. After much searching, the wife finally manages to find a new species before her husband. She decides to…

A man & his wife are flying…

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man & his wife are flying in a 4-engine jumbo jet to vacation in the Bahamas. Soon after they depart the captain comes on the intercom and says "Good day ladies…

Say what you will about the South, but….

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

nobody ever retires and moves up North. Okay, here’s my attempt, titled “Joke Poo,” riffing on the original joke: Joke Poo: Say what you will about space exploration, but… …nobody ever successfully…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”

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