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Category: Husband

My wife was on a righteous rant…

Posted on September 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

about kids these days and whatnot, when she suddenly stops and says, "well, do you want any wine or what?" I looked at her, a bit puzzled, when she explains, "Oh, I…

My wife gave me an envelope with, “Not to be opened until 2027” on it.

Posted on September 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Inside was list of reasons why I cannot be trusted to follow simple instructions. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” riffing on your original: Joke Poo: The Algorithm My AI…

Omniscient computer

Posted on September 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

The businessman was trying to sell his 'omniscient computer' to a skeptical client. He challenged the man, “Ask anything of this computer and it will provide you with an accurate answer.” “OK,”…

One spelling mistake can ruin your marriage.

Posted on September 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

I accidentally texted my wife "I'm having a great time. I wish you were her." Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” based on the original, titled “Accidental Autocorrect”: Joke Poo: Accidental Autocorrect One…

Two guys are playing a round of golf behind two women,

Posted on September 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

the women are playing really slow, so they decided to ask if they can play through. The first guy approaches the women, gets halfway then turns around and hurries back to his…

Man on his deathbed

Posted on September 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Motions his wife closer and whispers, “I want you to wait 6 months after I’m gone and then marry George”. Wife responds, “Marry George? I thought you hated George”! And, with his…

The AI man

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A blonde city girl named Amy, marries a Colarado rancher.  One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy. “The insemination man is coming over…

Strip Club

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A tourist, for the first time in his life abroad, goes into a strip club. He watches the show where beautiful women are dancing on stage, and suddenly he spits on the…

Wife’s note to husband:

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

Hi, Sorry about the argument last night. I have to work late tonight. Dinner is on the stove, You only have to light it. The gas is already turned on. XX Okay,…

Wife opens letter from the hospital and shows her husband: Why am I so unlucky? First I get diagnosed as being dyslexic, and now they are saying I’ve got tiny tits.

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

Husband: Tinnitus, you've got tinnitus! Joke Poo: The Doggy Dilemma Original Joke (for reference): Wife opens letter from the hospital and shows her husband: Why am I so unlucky? First I get…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.
  • A high-powered attorney ended up in the hospital for a few days – and let’s just say, he was not the ideal patient.
  • The Cowboy and the Horse Thieves
  • What is a mob boss’ favorite element from the periodic table?
  • Three men are stranded on a desert island
  • My friend wrote a murder mystery set in the TARDIS…
  • U.S. Open
  • Breaking News: The founder of /r/jokes is pregnant
  • Jesus is watching you.
  • Little Johnny comes home from school
  • A boy was once punished by his teacher…
  • A lighthouse keeper on an island subscribes to a monthly magazine

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