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Category: Husband

A married couple claimed they never argued in their 25 years of marriage.

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

A married couple claimed they never argued in their 25 years of marriage. A friend asked, "How is that even possible?" The husband explained, "It all started during our honeymoon when we…

As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried “Don’t touch me! I can’t take the pain! I won’t make it! Don’t! CAN’T! WON’T!!”

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Hurry, driver!" I exclaimed. "Her contractions are getting closer together!" Joke Poo: The Coffee Order As the barista furiously steamed milk, the customer wailed, “Don’t touch me! I can’t take the foam!…

A boy turns to his grandfather and says “I bet you $20 I can put that earthworm back in the hole it just crawled from”

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

The grandfather laughs and says "the worm is much too wriggly and the hole is far too small, but sure, I'll take your bet". The boy runs inside the house and returns…

My wife says I never listen

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

… or something like that. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the “My wife says I never listen…” joke: Joke Poo: My Dog’s Therapist My dog’s therapist says…

[NSFW] Sex On The Sabbath

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or pleasure. So he goes to a priest and asks for…

A Chinese man and woman gets married

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

As they go into the bedroom on their wedding night, the woman gets undressed and nervously gets under the sheets. "What's wrong?" the husband asks. The wife replies "I'm just nervous. This…

When I got married, I was always so incompetent about everything around the house.

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

Cleaning, gardening, mowing the lawn.Finally, my wife asked me, "Honey, why can't you do anything right? Why are you always so incompetent?" I told her the truth. I said, "Honey, it makes…

My wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whiskey and two loaves of bread.

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Are we expecting guests?" I asked. "No," she replied. "Then why did you buy so much fucking bread?" Joke Poo: The Compost Heap My neighbor returned from the garden center with six…

Drinking buddies

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Two friends were having their regular drink (or few). The first one says, "I don't know what to do. Every time after our drinks, I sneak into the house as quiet as…

I can’t believe how well I’m accepting my husband’s small manhood.

Posted on July 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

I didn't know I had it in me. Joke Poo: Title: I Can’t Believe It! I can’t believe how well my digestive system is accepting this new probiotic. I didn’t know I…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?

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