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Category: Husband

A man came home and found his wife in bed with one of his best friends, so he dragged the man outside and beat the snot out of him.

Posted on August 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

When he got back his wife said, "Carry on like that and you won't have any friends left." Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the joke, titled to reflect the… well,…

There’s a story about a man and a woman who have been married for 40 years.

Posted on August 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

One evening at dinner the woman turns to her husband and says, "You know, 40 years ago on our wedding day you told me that you loved me and you haven't said…

Emma’s First Flight

Posted on August 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

Emma was on her first ever flight and shaking with nerves. As the plane roared down the runway, she gripped the armrest and whispered loudly, “Oh my god, what if an engine…

After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to counseling.

Posted on August 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to counseling. The wife poured out every complaint – neglect, loneliness, feeling unloved, you name it. Finally, the therapist (a man) got…

– Hey, Stephen, did Marie agreed to marry you?

Posted on August 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

— Nah, she did not. — But did you told her about your fabulously wealthy and very old uncle? — I did, and now she’s my aunt. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo”…

Man: Doctor, my wife is pregnant. That’s why I wanted to ask, how should we have sex now?

Posted on August 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

Doctor: Well, in the first months you can do it completely normally. In the second trimester, I recommend the doggy style, and in the last third, the wolf position. Man: Wolf position?…

A Couple Had A Cat Named…Orangio…

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

…but he was a real annoyance. Whatever they want to do he is there, calling for attention, having them almost tripping over him and such. But it got too much when Orangio…

A married couple was in a terrible accident, and the husband’s face was severely burned.

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor told him they couldn’t graft any skin from his own body because he was too skinny. His wife lovingly offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only…

When a wealthy husband passed, he left $30,000 for an “elaborate funeral.”

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

After the service, a friend asked where all the money went. The widow explained: “$6,500 for the funeral, $500 to the church, $500 for the wake… and the rest went toward the…

Found out we’re expecting twins…

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Today my wife and I found out we're expecting twin boys, I suggested we call them Ludovic and Christopher. My wife just stared at me and said "That's ludacris!" Okay, here’s my…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.

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