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I am Calm

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

As he pushes his wailing child through the supermarket, a young father repeats softly, “Don’t get excited, Josh … Don’t scream, Josh … Keep calm, Josh.” A fellow shopper, impressed by the father’s calm demeanour, says, “You should be commended for trying to soothe your son.” The father replies, “I’m Josh.”

Joke Poo: I am Baked

As he meanders through the art museum, staring intently at a blurry impressionist painting, a dishevelled man whispers, “Focus, Kevin… Stay grounded, Kevin… Absorb the art, Kevin.” A nearby art critic, intrigued by the man’s intense focus, says, "You truly seem to be connecting with the piece on a profound level." The man replies, "I’m Kevin."

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then add a comedic layer.

Joke Deconstruction:

  • Setup: A young father is seen repeatedly calming down "Josh," implied to be his screaming child.
  • Misdirection: The audience assumes "Josh" is the child’s name, leading to the belief that the father is a remarkably patient parent.
  • Punchline: The father reveals he is Josh, the one trying to stay calm amidst the chaos of his child’s tantrum. This is a subversion of expectations based on the common assumption that the adult is in control.
  • Humor Source: The humor comes from the incongruity between the perceived calm father and the actual stressed individual trying to self-soothe. It highlights the often-invisible struggle of parenthood.

Key Elements & Associated Tidbits:

  1. The Name "Josh":

    • Factual Tidbit: "Josh" is a popular shortening of "Joshua," a Hebrew name meaning "the Lord is salvation." In the U.S., "Josh" peaked in popularity in the late 80s and early 90s.
    • Comedic Angle: We can play on the idea of salvation and chaos, or the dated nature of the name in today’s environment.
  2. Parental Stress/Tantrums:

    • Factual Tidbit: Studies show that toddler tantrums are a normal part of development, peaking around age 2-3, often caused by frustration at not being able to communicate or assert independence.
    • Comedic Angle: We can exaggerate the science of tantrums or create an ironic contrast between scientific knowledge and real-world experience.
  3. Self-Soothing:
    • Factual Tidbit: Self-soothing techniques, like deep breathing and positive self-talk, are commonly used to manage stress and anxiety.
    • Comedic Angle: We can highlight the absurdity of applying formal self-soothing techniques in a hilariously unsuited environment.

New Comedic Creation: A Witty Observation & Alternate Ending

Witty Observation:

"It’s funny how ‘Josh’ evolved from a name meaning ‘God is Salvation’ to a synonym for ‘about to lose his ever-loving mind in the cereal aisle’."

Alternate Ending (Joke Extension):

Building from the original joke:

The fellow shopper, now slightly embarrassed, clears their throat. "Well, Josh, what coping mechanisms do you use in these… situations?"

Josh sighs deeply, wiping sweat from his brow. "Honestly? I mostly just repeat the Serenity Prayer… and occasionally contemplate the philosophical implications of free-range parenting while fantasizing of running away to become a goat herder on an alp."

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