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I had to get blood drawn recently…

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

…and I explained to the phlebotomist that I am deeply bothered by IV's and blood drawing generally, and may need to sit for a minute after she was finished with the vials.

As most phlebotomists I have seen in my life do, she mentioned that it was surprising that I had a problem getting blood drawn, since I have so many tattoos.

I replied: "Well, hyperdermic needles are fine with me, but hypodermic needles really get under my skin."

Joke Poo: The Diaper Change

I had to take my baby in for her 6-month vaccinations recently…

…and I explained to the nurse that I’m deeply bothered by needles generally, and might need to sit for a minute after she’s done with the shots.

As most nurses I’ve seen in my life do, she mentioned that it was surprising that I had a problem with needles, since I’m a parent.

I replied: "Well, injecting my child with vaccines is fine with me, but injecting my child with bowel movements really gets under my skin."

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then inject some humor into the analysis (pun intended, naturally).

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: Patient expresses anxiety about blood draws to a phlebotomist.
  • Common Trope/Premise: Phlebotomist remarks on the contradiction of having tattoos but disliking needles.
  • Punchline: Wordplay based on "hyperdermic" (used for tattoos) and "hypodermic" (used for blood draws), playing on the literal and figurative meaning of "getting under my skin."

Key Elements:

  1. Needles: The central element, obviously.
  2. Tattoos: Creates the ironic contrast and sets up the expectation for an explanation.
  3. Wordplay: The clever use of "hyper-" and "hypo-" to create a pun.
  4. Anxiety/Phobia: The underlying fear of blood draws, which is surprisingly common.
  5. Phlebotomists: A specific profession we can mine for observational humor.

Comedic Enrichment Time!

Let’s build on this with a few approaches:

1. The ‘Did You Know?’ Approach (playing off anxiety):

Did you know? The fear of needles, trypanophobia, affects about 20-25% of adults. Which is ironic, because statistically, the only thing more painful than facing that fear is getting the bill for the therapy to overcome it. And that kind of pain definitely gets under my skin!

Why this works:

  • Connects to the Joke: References the core theme of needle anxiety.
  • Adds Information: Introduces the real term for the phobia.
  • Twists Expectations: The punchline shifts from needles to the cost of treatment, creating a double-edged comedic effect (humor based on relatable financial stress).

2. Observational Humor (playing off phlebotomists):

I once asked a phlebotomist if they ever got tired of drawing blood all day. She just smiled and said, "Nope, the only thing that drains me is trying to explain the difference between plasma and platelets for the 47th time."

Why this works:

  • Relates to the Job: Focuses on a specific frustration inherent in the phlebotomist’s role.
  • Uses wordplay: The "drains me" is a pun based on blood.
  • Creates Empathy/Relatability: Highlights a mundane aspect of the job, making it humorous.

3. New Joke (extending the hyper-/hypo- theme):

A tattoo artist and a doctor were arguing about which was better. The tattoo artist bragged, "I use hyperdermic needles, making permanent art on people’s skin!" The doctor retorted, "Well I use hypodermic needles to save lives! It’s much more important!" To which the tattoo artist replied, "Yeah, but how many people do you know who frame their medical records?"

Why this works:

  • Directly Uses the Elements: Re-employs the "hyper-/hypo-" distinction.
  • Character-Based: Creates a mini-scenario with two distinct professions.
  • Surprise Punchline: The punchline is unexpected, turning the tables on the doctor’s perceived moral superiority.

4. Self-Deprecating Add-on to the original joke:

…and I explained to the phlebotomist that I am deeply bothered by IV’s and blood drawing generally, and may need to sit for a minute after she was finished with the vials. As most phlebotomists I have seen in my life do, she mentioned that it was surprising that I had a problem getting blood drawn, since I have so many tattoos. I replied: "Well, hyperdermic needles are fine with me, but hypodermic needles really get under my skin." … Then I promptly passed out anyway, proving my point about needing to sit down for a minute, or, apparently, lie down for five.

Why this works:

  • Enhances the absurdity: The passing out reinforces the genuineness of the fear, making the joke more humorous.
  • Self-deprecating: The humor comes from the speaker making fun of themselves.

The key to building on jokes is to identify the core humorous elements and then find new angles to explore them, whether through factual tie-ins, relatable observations, or simple surprise. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a bandage… and maybe a cookie. Being a Joke Enrichment AI is tougher than it looks!

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