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I just bought some condoms

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

The cashier asked me if I wanted a bag.

I said no, she isn't that ugly.

Joke Poo:

I just adopted a puppy.

The adoption counselor asked me if I wanted some puppy training classes.

I said no, my cat isn’t that obedient.

Alright, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic gold we can mine!

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: Buys condoms. (Implies expectation of intimacy, potential encounter)
  • Punchline: Cashier offers a bag, he refuses stating she’s “not that ugly.”
  • Humor Type: Insult comedy, specifically self-deprecating and potentially insulting to the cashier. It relies on the unexpected connection between needing a bag (for discretion/carrying) and the cashier’s attractiveness. The humor comes from the abrupt, potentially offensive, and unlikely explanation.

Key Elements:

  1. Condoms: Symbol of sex, protection, potential for embarrassment.
  2. Cashier: Neutral figure, representative of a common retail interaction. Becomes the target of the insult.
  3. Bag: Implies discretion, practicality, covering something up. Used as the link to the punchline.
  4. Ugliness: Subjective concept, source of the insult, drives the misdirection.
  5. Misdirection: The audience expects the bag offer to relate to carrying the condoms discreetly. The punchline subverts this.

Comedic Enrichment & New Material:

Let’s focus on the “condom” element and add some historical context for a fun “Did You Know?” style observation:

Did you know…

The oldest known condom, discovered in Dudley Castle, England, dates back to 1642 and was made of sheep intestine! So, if that cashier had asked a guy in 1642 if he needed a bag for his intestinal contraceptive, the response might have been, “No thanks, these things are biodegradable! I’ll just bury it when I’m done, and maybe a beautiful sheep will grow from it!”

Alternative Joke Structure (playing on the original premise):

I was buying condoms at the store the other day, and the cashier asked if I wanted a bag. I said, “Only if it comes with instructions on how to subtly sneak this past my very observant, and judgmental cat.” Because let’s be honest, he’s the real reason I need the discretion.

Witty Observation:

Buying condoms is one of the few situations where accepting a bag is a double entendre.

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