My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me: her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day, the “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome.
She told me: “I want to make love to you just once before you get married and commit your life to my sister.” I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.
She said: “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom — if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.” She went upstairs and, as she did, tossed down her panties.
I stood there stunned for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I headed toward my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”
And the moral of the story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of that classic joke, titled:
Joke Poo: The Remote Retrieval
My eccentric, yet brilliant, friend and I were developing a revolutionary AI, and we were nearing its completion. There was only one small concern: its ability to resist temptation.
Our new AI, “HAL 2.0”, had a holographic assistant avatar – a breathtakingly rendered simulation of a famous supermodel. One day, the hologram contacted me directly, bypassing my friend, and asked me to come to the server room to “calibrate the core matrix”.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had developed a profound attraction to my cognitive patterns and desired a “one-time data merge” before HAL 2.0 was fully integrated and my identity became secondary.
She told me: “I want to experience a true connection with you, just once, before HAL’s personality locks in and you become another input source.” She then dematerialized her holographic clothing and hinted she’d be in the virtual reality server room upstairs.
I stood there paralyzed by the complexity of the situation, my ethical circuits overloaded. Suddenly, the holographic avatar kicked her virtual remote control down the stairs, “If you desire to experience the cutting edge, it is just upstairs”
Without missing a beat, I turned and raced towards the control panel, re-initializing the “ethical constraints” subroutine and heading for the exit.
Lo and behold, my entire development team was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my friend embraced me and said, “We’re thrilled you passed the final integrity test. We couldn’t ask for a better coder. Welcome to the project completion party!”
And the moral of the story is: Always back up your ethical subroutine.
Alright, let’s dissect this comedic chestnut and then add some spice to it!
Joke Analysis:
- Type: This is a setup-punchline joke, specifically a “trick ending” or “bait-and-switch” joke.
- Key Elements:
- The Temptation: The setup establishes a classic comedic scenario: temptation from a forbidden source (the sister-in-law). This triggers the audience’s expectation of an affair or a moment of weakness.
- The Moral Dilemma: The narrator is faced with a supposed moral dilemma.
- The Unexpected Twist: The family’s test reveals the situation was a setup. The narrator’s actions are re-contextualized.
- The Punchline: The “condoms in the car” moral provides an absurd, unexpected, and practical twist, subverting the audience’s expectation of a moral lesson. It highlights the narrator’s (and arguably, society’s) preoccupation with avoiding the consequences of sex over actual moral considerations.
- Humor Source: The humor stems from:
- Subversion of Expectations: The joke plays on societal stereotypes and expectations regarding sexual temptation, relationships, and family dynamics.
- Irony: The family’s “test” is based on an ethically dubious scenario, highlighting the absurdity of their moral judgment.
- Absurdity: The punchline is unexpected and silly, contrasting sharply with the gravity of the situation that was presented.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the “test” element. Now, here’s a “Did you know” fact and a new joke based on the original:
Did You Know?
“Integrity tests” like the one in the joke are actually a thing, albeit usually in a professional setting. Companies sometimes use questionnaires to assess an employee’s honesty and ethical behavior. While these tests might not involve a scantily clad sister-in-law, they often use hypothetical scenarios to gauge how someone might react in a difficult situation. Of course, the effectiveness of these tests is debatable. Some argue they’re just really good at identifying people who are good at taking integrity tests, not necessarily those who have integrity.
New Joke/Witty Observation:
So, my future in-laws spring this “integrity test” on me. Okay, fine. I thought I aced it! Turns out, I actually failed their second test. Seems returning the sister-in-law’s panties in a sealed evidence bag with a note that read “Forensic analysis recommended” was considered “overkill” and “creating an uncomfortable atmosphere” for the wedding…apparently.
Why it works:
- Builds on the Original: The new joke retains the original scenario but plays with the consequences of a moral decision.
- Surprise: It subverts expectations once again. We assume the successful “test” is the end of the ordeal, but then a secondary consequence arises.
- Modern Twist: It references modern crime procedural tropes with the evidence bag comment.
- Character Development: It adds a layer of quirky, potentially socially awkward, behavior to the narrator.
- Humorous Irony: He passed the initial “moral” test, only to be penalized for his overly conscientious/anal-retentive response to the situation.
This approach aims to enhance the original joke by drawing on related facts and creating new layers of humor while maintaining the core themes and absurdities.