Joke Poo

I recently learned a scientific fact about pigeons… They often die after mating.

Posted on by Joke Poo

At least the ones I fucked did.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original, with the title “Joke Poo”:

Original Joke: I recently learned a scientific fact about pigeons… They often die after mating.
At least the ones I fucked did.

Joke Poo:

Title: Doggy Paddle Problems

I recently learned a scientific fact about goldfish… They often die after flushing.

At least the ones I tried to teach to swim did.

Explanation of Changes:

  • Subject: Changed from pigeons to goldfish.
  • Action: Changed from mating to flushing.
  • Core Assumption/Twist: Retained the dark humor of the unexpected and disturbing action being revealed as the cause of death. The twist is the unexpected act of teaching a goldfish to swim

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then build something new from its DNA.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: The joke sets up a standard, possibly interesting, scientific fact about pigeons. This creates an expectation of a serious or informative punchline.
  • Incongruity: The punchline immediately subverts the expectation. Instead of a scientific explanation for pigeon mortality after mating, it reveals a dark, absurd, and frankly shocking anecdote about the speaker’s own actions. The juxtaposition of the scientific set-up with the shocking confession is the core of the humor.
  • Themes: The joke plays on themes of:
    • Misdirection/Subversion
    • Dark Humor
    • Shock Value
    • Absurdity
    • Bestiality (implied, and therefore part of what makes it so unsettling)

Key Elements & Related Tidbits for Enrichment:

  1. Pigeons:

    • Fact: Pigeons are incredibly intelligent. They can recognize individual people, even after long periods of separation.
    • Fact: They are skilled navigators, utilizing the earth’s magnetic field and the sun’s position for direction.
    • Fact: Pigeons mate for life.

  2. Mating (in Animals):

    • Fact: Some animals, like male praying mantises, are sometimes eaten by the female during or after mating.
    • Fact: Male honeybees die after mating because their reproductive organs are ripped from their bodies and remain attached to the queen. Ouch!
    • Fact: Anglerfish mating is… well, horrifying. The male fuses permanently to the female, eventually becoming essentially an appendage that provides sperm.

  3. Scientific Authority/Language:

    • Observation: The joke relies on the perceived authority of scientific facts to initially disarm the audience.

New Humor: Using the Elements

Here are a few options, ranging from a related joke to a witty observation:

Option 1: A Slightly More Tasteful Joke (Building on the Pigeon Facts)

“I was going to tell you a scientific fact about pigeons and mating… but after seeing what that guy just posted, I’m afraid it’s going to be very misinterpreted. Let’s just say, it involves lifelong commitment and the uncanny ability to find their way home, no matter how awkward the morning after is.”

(This uses the actual pigeon mating facts as a less offensive punchline and still subtly references the original joke’s darkness.)

Option 2: A Witty Observation (Playing on the Scientific Authority)

“That pigeon mating joke just proves that people will accept anything as a scientific fact as long as it’s introduced with enough gravitas… even if the ‘experiment’ clearly lacked proper ethical oversight and probably violated several avian welfare laws.”

(This one pokes fun at the initial reliance on the ‘scientific fact’ premise.)

Option 3: A Dark Humor “Did You Know?” (Inspired by Animal Mating)

“Did you know that male honeybees die after mating? I guess the ‘birds and the bees’ conversation leaves out a crucial detail about post-coital obligations… at least the pigeon guy only implied murder.”

(This connects the original joke to another, actually existing, dark mating ritual in the animal kingdom.)

Option 4: Combining pigeon fact with the intent of the original joke.

“I read a scientific fact today about pigeons; they mate for life. I guess I’ll be seeing them again soon, then.”

The strength of these options is subjective, of course. They aim to maintain the dark humor vein of the original while adding a layer of cleverness and factual grounding.