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I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

He said "Where are you applying it?"

I said "On the bus".

Joke Poo: The Compost Tea

I said to the gardener, “That organic compost tea you recommended for my prize-winning roses is causing some… intense results.”

He said, “Where exactly are you applying it?”

I said, “To the office water cooler. Thought everyone could benefit from a bit of natural goodness!”

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then enrich it with some comedic seasoning!

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: The setup establishes a doctor-patient scenario and hints at a problem with a prescribed haemorrhoid cream. The use of the word “unpleasant reactions” creates an expectation of physical discomfort.
  • Punchline Setup: The doctor’s question, “Where are you applying it?” is the pivot. It sounds like a standard medical inquiry.
  • Punchline: “On the bus.” This is where the humor lies. It subverts the expectation. Instead of a body part, the punchline reveals an entirely inappropriate context. The incongruity between the clinical context of medication application and the public setting of a bus is what makes it funny.
  • Underlying Theme: The joke relies on embarrassment, misunderstanding, and the contrast between private medical concerns and public behavior.

Key Elements:

  • Haemorrhoid Cream: Associated with a sensitive, personal medical condition.
  • Doctor-Patient Relationship: A context of professional advice and medical privacy.
  • Public Transportation (Bus): A setting of social norms and potential discomfort.
  • Incongruity: The core driver of the humor.

Comedic Enrichment – Option 1: The Witty Observation

Did you know the average bus seat fabric contains more microscopic particles of embarrassment than a dermatologist’s office on “proctology appointment” day? Applying haemorrhoid cream on a bus isn’t just a personal faux pas; it’s a biohazard in the making… for social anxiety.

Explanation: This plays off the public nature of buses and combines it with a little scientific humour!

Comedic Enrichment – Option 2: The “Did You Know?”

“Did you know that in some countries, the level of public transport etiquette is so advanced, they actually have designated ‘haemorrhoid cream application zones’? No, I’m just kidding. That’s still just the seat next to the exit. (But seriously, maybe reconsider the bus.)”

Explanation: This takes the ludicrousness of the joke and pushes it to an even more absurd conclusion before reeling it back in with self-awareness.

Comedic Enrichment – Option 3: The New Joke

I went to the doctor and said, “Doctor, this haemorrhoid cream isn’t working! Every time I use it, my commute gets really awkward!”

He said, “Are you using it as directed?”

I said, “Well, I tried using it to lubricate the bus doors, but they still slammed shut on me.”

Explanation: This expands on the original by exploring how the cream and bus doors link together.

These enrichments aim to maintain the spirit of the original joke while adding an extra layer of comedic depth through factual or observational tie-ins. They amplify the humor by exaggerating or commenting on the inherent awkwardness and absurdity.

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