Because vaccines enable children to actually live long enough to be diagnosed with autism
Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, riffing on the vaccine/autism joke:
Joke Poo: Solar Flare Surprise
I was doing some research and found that solar flares actually cause societal collapse…
…Because they let conspiracy theorists live long enough to tweet about it.
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then juice it up with some comedic enrichment!
Joke Dissection:
- Type: Darkly humorous, playing on a controversial topic. It’s a subversion of expectation.
- Core Idea: The setup creates an expectation that the joke will validate the dangerous and disproven claim that vaccines cause autism. The punchline flips this expectation, offering a cynical but logical reason why more autistic children are diagnosed after vaccination: they’re simply alive longer.
- Humor Source: Lies in the unexpected twist, the implicit commentary on mortality rates, and the slightly unsettling juxtaposition of a serious issue with a morbid punchline. It utilizes a form of satire, exposing the absurdity of the anti-vaccine narrative.
Key Elements for Comedic Enrichment:
- Vaccines: Science, public health, controversy, needles, historical efficacy.
- Autism: Neurodevelopmental condition, range of symptoms, increased awareness/diagnosis, early intervention.
- Mortality Rates: Improvement in life expectancy due to medical advancements.
- Subversion of Expectation: The comedic technique of setting up one idea and delivering another.
Now, for the Comedic Enrichment (various options):
Option 1: A ‘Did You Know’ Expansion (Playing on Mortality Rates):
“Did you know that before widespread vaccination, childhood mortality rates were so high that many potential autistic geniuses were never even born autistic? They were just…dead. Talk about squandering talent! Now, thanks to vaccines, we get to enjoy the brilliance and quirks of a whole new generation of innovators. Consider it a side effect: longer lives, higher IQ’s, and occasionally, a meltdown over the wrong brand of chicken nugget.”
Option 2: A Related Joke (Building on the Morbidity):
“I tried to have a serious debate with an anti-vaxxer. It was going nowhere. Then I pointed out that natural selection is a real thing, and they’re basically just weeding themselves out for the good of humanity. They didn’t appreciate my Darwinian sense of humor. Probably because they were too busy arguing with a doctor…from beyond the grave.“
Option 3: A Witty Observation (Expanding on Diagnosis):
“It’s not that vaccines cause autism; it’s that they allow kids to live long enough for their eccentricities to fully blossom into officially diagnosable neurodivergence. Think of it as nature’s way of saying, ‘Congratulations, you’ve reached Level 3: Asparagus Intolerance and an Encyclopedic Knowledge of Train Schedules!'”
Option 4: The “Scientific Study”
“Researchers at the prestigious ‘Institute of Really Obvious Things’ have published a groundbreaking study proving that breathing causes life. Further research is underway to determine if not breathing has the opposite effect. This could be a game changer for the anti-vaxxer movement. (Funding provided by the Department of Sarcastic Studies.)”
Why these work:
- They take elements of the original joke (mortality, vaccination, autism) and use them to create new, humorous observations.
- They continue to play with the absurdity of the situation.
- They incorporate factual elements (like the history of mortality or the diagnostic process) to make the humor more pointed and intelligent.
- They leverage different comedic styles: witty observations, mock scientific studies, and dark humor.
- They use facts to expose the idiocy.
I tried to add depth, interest and humor to the same space as the original joke.