Skip to content
Joke Poo
Menu
  • Home
    • The Enduring Power of a Good Joke
  • Categories
    • Totally Feckin random
    • Why Did
    • Long
    • Wife
    • Walks into a bar
    • Dog
    • Bartender
    • Husband
    • Doctor
    • Chicken
  • Privacy Policy
Menu
Joke Poo

I was using a urinal when …

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

a midget walked up and began using the urinal next to me. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw him look at me. I turned my head to find him looking up and winking at me. I looked forward, not knowing how to respond. This happened another two times.

Finally, I said, "Hey guy I'm flattered, but I'm not gay".

He replied, "Neither am I… You keep splashing me in the eye."

Joke Poo: The Baptismal Font Incident

I was attending a christening when… a toddler, barely walking, toddled up to the baptismal font next to me and began splashing in the water. From the corner of my eye, I thought I saw him look at me. I turned my head to find him looking up and giggling mischievously. I smiled awkwardly, not knowing how to respond. This happened another two times, with increasingly larger splashes.

Finally, I knelt down and said, "Hey little guy, this is a very special occasion. Try to be a little quieter, okay?"

He replied, with a mouth full of water, "Can’t…help it…Mommy said…I’m getting…baptized!"

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then build something new off of it.

Joke Dissection:

  • Core Elements: Urinal, Midget (person of short stature), Misinterpretation (flirting vs. accidental splashing), Homosexuality (as a perceived implication of flirting).
  • Humor Source: The humor stems from the classic misunderstanding trope. The protagonist misinterprets the midget’s actions (winking) as a sexual advance, leading to an awkward declaration of heterosexuality. The punchline reveals the true reason for the winking – an unfortunate consequence of shared urinal space and poor aim. The unexpected twist is the source of the humor. The joke relies on societal stereotypes about homosexual behavior.

Observations and Factual Tidbits to Leverage:

  • Urinals & Physics: Urinal design can be surprisingly complex. Fluid dynamics play a huge role in preventing backsplash. Fun fact: Early urinals in Victorian England were often made of slate and were designed for multiple users to stand shoulder-to-shoulder. Imagine THAT splashing!
  • Height and Perspective: The average human male height is about 5’9". Perspective is relative, and a significant height difference creates a vastly different view of the world.
  • "Midget" Terminology: While the term is used in the joke, it’s often considered offensive. "Little Person" or "Person of Short Stature" is generally preferred. The term "midget" has a history tied to freak shows, a problematic aspect of entertainment history.
  • Winking Nuances: Winking can mean flirting, yes, but also understanding, joking, even mischief. It’s all about context!

New Piece of Humor (Witty Observation/Enhanced Did You Know):

"Did you know that urinal engineers spend countless hours studying fluid dynamics to minimize backsplash? Yet, all their fancy calculations are completely useless when a person of short stature enters the equation. Suddenly, it’s not about minimizing spray, but about maximizing diplomacy. It’s a height-dependent splash-astrophe!"

Explanation of New Humor:

  • It pulls from the "Urinal & Physics" observation.
  • It acknowledges the practical failure of engineering in the face of real-world (and human) variation.
  • It uses a slightly more acceptable terminology.
  • It plays on the absurdity of focusing on a scientific solution while ignoring the human element of the original joke.
  • It creates a new, humorous situation by combining a technical process with a comical circumstance.

The humor here shifts from the awkwardness of perceived homosexual advances to the inherent comedy of unintended consequences and the limitations of technical solutions when faced with the unpredictable nature of human interaction.

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Strange but true: When you see ducks flying south in a ‘V’ formation, why is one line always longer than the other?
  • What do you get if you cross a dyslexic with an agnostic who has insomnia?
  • The professor of medicine is teaching the students about dissection
  • Am I the first person you have ever slept with?
  • Describe your love life in two words.
  • Cop understood the assignment.
  • Doctor, help me. I’m addicted to buying yachts. Is there something you can give me for it?
  • Teacher and her 3 boy students:
  • The woman I’m sleeping with keeps telling me I don’t need to be intimidated by the size of her ex’s dick
  • As we drove past some black and white cows my dad said “wow, it must be really cold out there…
  • Last year I bought my wife an artificial leg for Christmas…
  • I’m starting a research project into bestiality
  • I’m over 40 years old and I’ve never used essential oils…
  • I don’t know why everyone thinks of mobsters as bad guys.
  • Found out last night that I’m both gay and dyslexic.
  • I once dated a girl who was actually a ghost.
  • Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!”
  • A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed “I shall grant a single wish that you desire!”
  • Why does Dracula always bite his victims in the neck?
  • A duck wandered onto my property
  • Not to brag, but I finished a puzzle under a week and…
  • Old lady at nursing home
  • Overheard an angry man with a lisp say “bithnith”.
  • I heard someone combined a bee with a pineapple.
  • I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded
  • I have an entry level job with thousands of people below me
  • Who puts the “P” in R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  • The rescue team found a clue about a crashed airplane
  • “Why do you think you’d be a good waiter?”
  • I just took a great hiking class
  • Serious question
  • The Scottish definition of a gentleman…
  • I replaced my wife’s lip balm with a glue stick
  • A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
  • In WW2 a General had an idea on how to cheer the troops up
  • A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
  • World used to be better, we could have 1 steak every week, only with minimum wage
  • What works faster than a calculator?
  • A man dies and goes to hell
  • I went to see my doctor, he asked me to provide a stool sample.
  • I just tripped over a box of Kleenex. Ow!
  • Sheryl Crow and Russell Crowe walk into a bar.
  • A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he realized he was completely lost.
  • In England, when you turn 100, you get a royal letter from the King or Queen.
  • A man dies and ends up in hell.
  • What do you get when you goose a ghost?
  • Cemetery cold night
  • What do you call a roasted doll?
  • A man walks into a pharmacy
  • A couple gets married

Categories

  • "Walks into a bar"
  • Bartender
  • Blonde
  • Chicken
  • Dirty
  • Doctor
  • Dog
  • Heaven
  • Husband
  • Irishman
  • Knock Knock
  • Knock-Knock Joke
  • Lawyer
  • Lightbulb
  • Long
  • Mother-in-law
  • Politician
  • Priest
  • Religion
  • Totally Feckin random
  • Walks into a bar
  • What's the difference
  • Why Did
  • Wife
©2025 Joke Poo | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme