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I was using a urinal when …

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

a midget walked up and began using the urinal next to me. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw him look at me. I turned my head to find him looking up and winking at me. I looked forward, not knowing how to respond. This happened another two times.

Finally, I said, "Hey guy I'm flattered, but I'm not gay".

He replied, "Neither am I… You keep splashing me in the eye."

Joke Poo: The Baptismal Font Incident

I was attending a christening when… a toddler, barely walking, toddled up to the baptismal font next to me and began splashing in the water. From the corner of my eye, I thought I saw him look at me. I turned my head to find him looking up and giggling mischievously. I smiled awkwardly, not knowing how to respond. This happened another two times, with increasingly larger splashes.

Finally, I knelt down and said, "Hey little guy, this is a very special occasion. Try to be a little quieter, okay?"

He replied, with a mouth full of water, "Can’t…help it…Mommy said…I’m getting…baptized!"

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then build something new off of it.

Joke Dissection:

  • Core Elements: Urinal, Midget (person of short stature), Misinterpretation (flirting vs. accidental splashing), Homosexuality (as a perceived implication of flirting).
  • Humor Source: The humor stems from the classic misunderstanding trope. The protagonist misinterprets the midget’s actions (winking) as a sexual advance, leading to an awkward declaration of heterosexuality. The punchline reveals the true reason for the winking – an unfortunate consequence of shared urinal space and poor aim. The unexpected twist is the source of the humor. The joke relies on societal stereotypes about homosexual behavior.

Observations and Factual Tidbits to Leverage:

  • Urinals & Physics: Urinal design can be surprisingly complex. Fluid dynamics play a huge role in preventing backsplash. Fun fact: Early urinals in Victorian England were often made of slate and were designed for multiple users to stand shoulder-to-shoulder. Imagine THAT splashing!
  • Height and Perspective: The average human male height is about 5’9". Perspective is relative, and a significant height difference creates a vastly different view of the world.
  • "Midget" Terminology: While the term is used in the joke, it’s often considered offensive. "Little Person" or "Person of Short Stature" is generally preferred. The term "midget" has a history tied to freak shows, a problematic aspect of entertainment history.
  • Winking Nuances: Winking can mean flirting, yes, but also understanding, joking, even mischief. It’s all about context!

New Piece of Humor (Witty Observation/Enhanced Did You Know):

"Did you know that urinal engineers spend countless hours studying fluid dynamics to minimize backsplash? Yet, all their fancy calculations are completely useless when a person of short stature enters the equation. Suddenly, it’s not about minimizing spray, but about maximizing diplomacy. It’s a height-dependent splash-astrophe!"

Explanation of New Humor:

  • It pulls from the "Urinal & Physics" observation.
  • It acknowledges the practical failure of engineering in the face of real-world (and human) variation.
  • It uses a slightly more acceptable terminology.
  • It plays on the absurdity of focusing on a scientific solution while ignoring the human element of the original joke.
  • It creates a new, humorous situation by combining a technical process with a comical circumstance.

The humor here shifts from the awkwardness of perceived homosexual advances to the inherent comedy of unintended consequences and the limitations of technical solutions when faced with the unpredictable nature of human interaction.

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