I worked on that “old” joke from earlier and I also read a lot of the comments, and so I came up with this. I was hoping it that it was a little funnier to read.:

Joke Poo:

Title: Investment Advice

There were two cats working at a venture capital firm, Mittens Silver and Mittens Gold, and everyone always used their full names to distinguish them. One day, a particularly slick-looking squirrel waltzed in with a large acorn and announced he wanted to secure funding for his revolutionary acorn-based energy drink startup. All he had for a pitch deck was a slightly chewed, bark-covered PowerPoint presentation. Mittens Gold took the presentation to the managing partner and laid out the, shall we say, unique proposition. The managing partner glanced at the smeared bark, sniffed dismissively, and said, “It’s a Nut Case, Mittens Gold, give the squirrel some dough. He’s got a great ground game, and a good track record of finding nuts.”

Okay, let’s break down this joke and see if we can roll it into something even funnier.

Joke Dissection:

• Core Concept: A pun-driven setup where names and a porcelain statue converge into a classic nursery rhyme/song punchline.
• Setup: Two tellers with rhyming names, a celebrity’s son, a talking dog (implied), and absurd loan collateral.
• Wordplay: “Knick knack, Patty Black” and “Rolling Stone” are the obvious puns, referencing the children’s rhyme “This Old Man.”
• Humor: The unexpectedness of the dog requesting a loan, the ridiculousness of the statue as collateral, and the reliance on wordplay for the payoff. The implicit suggestion that Keith Richards’ son’s credit worthiness is enough to override the absurdity of the situation.

Key Elements to Exploit:

• Porcelain Statues: Antiquity, perceived value, potential for damage
• Keith Richards/Rolling Stones: Legendary rock ‘n’ roll excess, rumors of immortality, financial wealth
• Banks and Loans: Bureaucracy, risk assessment, collateral requirements.
• The “This Old Man” Rhyme: Nostalgia, predictability, simplicity.

Humorous Enrichment:

Let’s focus on porcelain statues and Keith Richards…

Witty Observation/Did You Know:

“Did you know that Keith Richards supposedly insured his hands for millions of dollars? Which begs the question: What’s the insurance policy on that fishing boy statue? Because frankly, given Keith Richards’ reputation, I’d bet it’s closer to a “Rock and a Hard Place” clause than actual collateral. The bank manager probably greenlit the loan just to get the thing out of his office before Keith accidentally sat on it.”

Why This Works:

• Combines Elements: Connects the idea of valuable hands with a (presumably less valuable) statue.
• Leans into Richards’ Legend: Plays on his wild reputation and the “immortal” rock star persona.
• Adds a Layer of Absurdity: The suggestion that a bank manager would approve a loan based on fear of the loan-granter rather than sound financial sense.
• Referential: Hints to the saying “Between a rock and a hard place”.

Another idea would be to focus on the rhyme itself:

New Joke:

A music historian walked into a bank with a Stradivarius violin as collateral for a loan. He presented it to the teller, Patty Green.

Patty Green took the violin to the manager. “Sir,” she said, “this guy wants a loan, and he’s using a priceless Stradivarius as collateral. What do I do?”

The manager smiled and said: “It’s a Stradivarius, Patty Green. Go back to the customer and tell him, ‘This old violin, it’s worth a fortune…’ he’ll probably just give up and leave.”

Why This Works:

• The punchline relies on the listener’s implicit knowledge of the rhyme “This Old Man”, which allows for a twist on expectations.
• Highlights the absurdity of the scenario, playing on the bank manager’s expectations of the historian’s knowledge of the rhyme.
• The structure is similar to the original joke, but the content is subtly different.

Essentially, the goal is to build upon the existing humor by adding a layer of absurdity, using related factual information, and/or creating a surprising twist.