Two guys are queuing in front of a grocery store to buy some potatoes.
It's been hours, queue's moving at a snails pace. One of them snaps out, "that's it, I've had enough, I'm going to buy a gun and shoot Putin", and he leaves.
One hour later, he returns and takes back his place in the queue, silently.
"Well ?" asks the other guy.
"Nevermind, queue's even longer"
Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the Putin potato joke:
Joke Poo: The Toilet Paper Crisis
Two guys are standing in line outside a Costco in March of 2020, waiting to buy toilet paper.
The line is unbelievably long and barely moving. One of them sighs dramatically, "I can’t take it anymore! I’m going to drive to the paper mill and demand they ramp up production!" He storms off in a huff.
Two hours later, he trudges back, looking dejected, and resumes his place in line.
"So?" asks the other guy, raising an eyebrow. "Did you convince them?"
The first guy shakes his head. "Forget it. The line there was even longer."
Alright, let’s dissect this potato-powered Putin predicament!
Joke Breakdown:
- Premise: Two Russians are enduring a ridiculously long queue to buy potatoes, highlighting a classic trope of Soviet/Russian bureaucracy and scarcity.
- Setup: One man, driven to the edge by the waiting, declares he’s going to assassinate Putin. This is an outrageous act, juxtaposed against the mundane goal of buying potatoes.
- Punchline: He returns defeated, not because he failed, but because the queue to assassinate Putin is even longer than the queue for potatoes. This subverts expectations and amplifies the absurdity of life under perceived authoritarianism. It suggests Putin is so unpopular, there’s a line for disgruntled would-be assassins!
- Key Elements:
- Russia (or the perception of Russia as a place of scarcity and long queues)
- Potatoes (a basic, essential food item)
- Bureaucracy/Long Queues
- Putin (a symbol of power, authority, and perhaps oppressive control)
- Irony/Subversion of Expectations
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the "potatoes" aspect, as a symbol of everyday life and resilience. Did you know that, despite facing periods of scarcity, the potato remains a staple food across Russia and Eastern Europe? But, ironically, one could argue that the idea of long potato queues itself has become less and less prevalent over the last decades. Thus, the "long line" in this joke also could be taken as symbol of the past. Now, let’s spin that into something humorous…
New Joke/Observation:
"Why did the Russian anti-Putin revolutionary open a potato farm? Because he realized that if he grew enough potatoes, he’d create a glut so big, people wouldn’t have to stand in line for them anymore, eliminating a major source of discontent. Forget assassinations, comrade, we’re weaponizing starch!"
Witty Observation:
"That joke reminds me: Putin’s security detail must be thrilled. It’s not every day a potential assassin shows up, measures the queue length, and decides against it purely based on efficiency!"
Amusing "Did You Know":
"Did you know that potato vodka (like Russian Standard) is a popular drink in Russia? So, technically, you could say the line to ‘get Putin’ runs all the way to the liquor store! Just… probably not in the way that disgruntled potato-queue-standers originally intended."