“What exactly is it you’re charged with?” he asked.
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“That’s not an offence,” said the judge.
“How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened.”
Joke Poo: The Archaeological Find
It was Archaeology Day, and the professor was in a particularly enthusiastic mood as he questioned the dig team.
“What exactly is it you’ve unearthed?” he asked.
“Doing our field work early,” replied the lead excavator.
“That’s not usually a problem,” said the professor.
“How early were you doing this fieldwork?”
“Before the Earth formed.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke:
Joke Core Elements:
- Premise: A defendant is in court, and the context is Christmas.
- Misdirection: The judge is in a benevolent mood, leading the audience to expect leniency or a light-hearted situation. The charge seems innocuous: “doing Christmas shopping early.”
- Punchline: The humor arises from the revealed absurdity of how early the shopping was – “before the store opened” – which implies theft or illegal entry.
- Irony: The judge initially states doing Christmas shopping early isn’t an offense, highlighting the contrast when the true nature of the act is revealed.
Factual/Interesting Tidbits related to these Elements:
- Christmas Shopping: The “Christmas Creep,” the tendency for retailers to start promoting Christmas earlier and earlier each year, is a real phenomenon. This has been going on since 1920s.
- “Early” Shopping and Crime: Shoplifting rates are indeed higher during the holiday season, due to increased crowds and the pressure of gift-giving.
- Judges and Benevolence: While the justice system is supposed to be impartial, judges are still human and their moods can influence proceedings. The “benevolent mood” could be interpreted as a reflection of societal expectations of goodwill during Christmas.
New Humor/Observation:
Option 1: A Witty Observation
“The beauty of the ‘before the store opened’ defense is that it covers a multitude of sins, ranging from enthusiastic bargain hunting to competitive reindeer games.”
Option 2: A Darkly Humorous “Did You Know?”
“Did you know? While ‘Elf on the Shelf’ keeps an eye on children’s behavior during December, ‘Lawyer on the Stand’ keeps an eye on their behavior before the stores even open for the Christmas season.”
Option 3: New Joke
A man is brought before a judge in July.
“What are you charged with?” asks the judge.
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replies the man.
The judge raises an eyebrow. “How early?”
“I was just trying to secure a parking spot near the mall.”
Explanation:
The new jokes/observations utilizes the core elements from the original joke – Christmas shopping, the defendant’s explanation, and the punchline revealing the absurdity. It builds upon the humor by applying the logic to the real early creep of Christmas shopping.
Option 1 is a sardonic take that pokes fun at the ambiguity of “early.”
Option 2 uses an existing Christmas tradition to build a darker humor based on the theme.
Option 3 creates a joke based on a modern context: The lengths people go to during Christmas Shopping.