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“I’ve been talking to supernatural entities for years, and they are trying to seduce me,” I told my doctor.

Posted on July 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

“How do I find out if it's real or not?” “Don't,” said my doctor. “Either way, you're fucked.”

Joke Poo: The Therapist’s Dilemma

“I’ve been practicing mindfulness meditation for years, and my anxieties are trying to negotiate terms of surrender,” I told my therapist.

“How do I know if their concessions are genuine or just a temporary lull?”

“Don’t,” said my therapist. “Either way, you’re going to be paying my hourly rate indefinitely.”

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then sprinkle some comedic fairy dust on it.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: The setup establishes a premise of the speaker communicating with supernatural entities and feeling seduced by them. This is already slightly absurd, inviting humor through the unusual situation.
  • Punchline: The punchline delivers the unexpected twist. The doctor, rather than offering a medical or psychological solution, delivers a fatalistic and darkly humorous assessment: “Either way, you’re fucked.” The humor comes from the doctor’s nonchalant acceptance of the bizarre situation and the use of colloquial language.
  • Key Elements:
    • Supernatural: The element of the paranormal/supernatural creates the initial absurdity.
    • Seduction: The speaker is being “seduced”, implying a degree of consent or at least vulnerability, making the “fucked” outcome doubly funny.
    • Doctor: The involvement of a medical professional contrasts the fantastical element, grounding it in a relatable context (seeking medical advice). The doctor’s role is subverted.
    • Fatalism/Dark Humor: The punchline embraces a pessimistic outlook, finding humor in an unavoidable and potentially negative situation.

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s leverage these elements to create a “Did You Know?” style factoid that builds on the joke’s humor:

Did you know?

The ancient Greeks actually had specific doctors specializing in otherworldly afflictions. They were called “Theonoos,” which roughly translates to “Mindful of the Gods.” However, instead of lengthy diagnoses or prescriptions, their standard advice for patients claiming divine seduction was surprisingly similar to our modern punchline. Archaeological evidence suggests their go-to response, etched onto clay tablets, translates to “Well, that’s a sticky situation, isn’t it?” followed by a bill for services rendered. Modern medical insurance still denies coverage for supernatural seduction. They classify it as “pre-existing… existential… issues.“

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