He looks around and sees there's nobody nearby, and he murmurs "If you slide your hand up there, you'll find out yourself."
So she slides her hand up under his kilt and makes contact with something unexpected, and a moment later snatches her hand away as though stung. "Och, Jock," she says, her eyes widening, "it's GRUESOME!"
"Aye," says Jock happily, "and if you put your hand back, it'll grow some more!"
Joke Poo: The Compost Heap
Barnaby and Beatrice are tending their prize-winning vegetable garden when Beatrice sighs, “Barnaby, we’ve been sharing this allotment for years now – I think it’s time you told me what you put in your compost heap.”
Barnaby glances around, making sure no other gardeners are within earshot, and whispers, “If you reach right in there, you’ll find out yourself.”
So Beatrice rolls up her sleeves, plunges her hand deep into the steaming compost, and immediately recoils, wiping her hand frantically on her apron. “Barnaby!” she exclaims, her face turning green, “It’s FOUL!”
“Aye,” says Barnaby, beaming with pride, “and if you leave your hand in a bit longer, it’ll grow some mould!”
Alright, let’s break down this kilt joke and then spin some comedic gold from its threads.
Joke Deconstruction:
- Setup: Jenny and Jock are in a committed relationship. Jenny’s curiosity about what’s under Jock’s kilt builds anticipation.
- Misdirection: The suggestion of a private reveal builds more anticipation.
- Twist/Punchline: Jenny’s revulsion (“it’s GRUESOME!”) is the initial punch. The “it’ll grow some more!” line is the second punch, implying something both unpleasant and…well, growing. The humor derives from the gap between the expected romantic/sexual revelation and the gross-out reality. It also uses an old setup of what lies under a kilt.
Key Elements:
- Kilt: The traditional Scottish garment. A skirt-like garment traditionally worn by men in the Scottish Highlands.
- Underwear Assumption: The joke relies on the (often incorrect) assumption that nothing is worn under the kilt.
- Euphemism/Innuendo: The humor is suggestive without being explicitly graphic.
- Scottish Stereotype: Jock’s name and accent reinforce a common Scottish image.
- Gruesomeness: The punchline hinges on the unexpected unpleasantness.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the “kilt” and the question of what is or isn’t worn underneath.
Amusing “Did You Know?” and Expansion:
“Did you know that there’s no official rule about what Highlanders wear (or don’t wear) under a kilt? It’s a matter of tradition, personal preference, and, frankly, weather conditions.
But here’s a lesser-known fact: The Scottish Tartans Authority has unofficially issued a guideline: ‘Gentlemen should always ensure a quick escape route in case of sudden bagpipe attacks.’ Make of that what you will.”
New Joke:
Two Scottish tourists, Hamish and Angus, are visiting New York City. Angus is wearing a kilt.
Hamish: “Angus, you look freezing! Are you wearing anything under that kilt?”
Angus: “Just the future, Hamish. And it’s lookin’ a bit… sub-zero today.”
Witty Observation:
Wearing a kilt is like having a secret power. You could reveal what’s underneath… or you could leave everyone in suspense. The real trick is maintaining that air of mystery while simultaneously avoiding rogue gusts of wind.
The goal here: The original joke’s humor is rather crude. These new bits of humor are an attempt to get to more observational and witty humor.