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Category: Lawyer

An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

He petitions a demon who checks and say yeah it was a mistake but tough luck, you're here now. So the engineer makes the best of it, installing a light rail system…

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands.

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married five times?” “Well,…

Job Interview

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks into his application appointment and sits down. After peering over his resume, the hiring director asks: “well this is all in order, but how do you explain this 4…

Mom, how did we get rich?

Posted on July 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Your dad hugged a HR lady at a Coldplay concert and i got 50% from the divorce." Okay, here’s a joke based on the original, titled “Joke Poo,” maintaining a similar structure…

A Geordie was so devoted to his pet dog that when it died

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

he wanted it commemorated in the form of a gold statue. So he went to a local jeweller’s shop and asked: “Can ya make me a gold statue of ma dog?” “Certainly,…

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him!

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf and dumb. That was the reason he got the job in the first…

A man gets arrested by a lady cop …

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

She says to him: “Anything you say can and will be held against you.” He replies: “Boobs”. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” inspired by your original, titled “Diplomatic Immunity”:…

Lawyer: ”And as proof of my clients innocence, we’ll submit his browsing history into evidence”

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Defendant: ”I’d like to confess to the murder” Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the lawyer joke, titled “Joke Poo” (because, well, we’re messing with the original!). Title: Joke Poo Chef:…

A man walked into a bar

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

And stayed there my entire childhood Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your provided joke: Joke Poo: A Chef’s Legacy A chef walked into his kitchen… and left…

Why does spider-man have such snappy comebacks?

Posted on July 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

With great power comes great response ability. Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” based on your Spider-Man joke: Joke Poo: Why Did the Toilet Get a Promotion at the Sewage Treatment Plant? Because…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
  • So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.
  • Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!
  • A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
  • A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
  • 3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question
  • My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.
  • A tourist goes to a restaurant in Madrid and orders the special. When it comes, he asks what it is.
  • What do orgasms and sneezing have in common?
  • A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands.
  • It’s early fall, Joe is out raking leaves…
  • I said to my wife, “Sit down, I’ve got something to tell you.”
  • A British Police Officer Is Walking Along Side an American Officer When They Spot An 18-Year-Old Casually Resting on Heavy Duty Sniper Rifle, Sipping A Beer in the Front Yard.
  • A cowboy rode into town and decided to stop by the local saloon for a drink.

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