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Category: Lawyer

A cannibal says to his friend, “I’ve been feeling so nauseous lately.”

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Must've been somebody you ate." "I think you're right." "Who you eating these days?" "Well, you know. Missionaries." "How do you cook 'em?" "Just boil them with some carrots and onions and…

A man wakes up one morning and farts. It sounds like “Honda!”

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

This puzzles him, so he does it again. "Honda!" He makes an appointment with his doctor to get that checked out. When he demonstrates for the doctor (Honda!) the doctor says "Don't…

What do you get Xena, Warrior Princess, for her birthday?

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

An Amazon gift card. Joke Poo: Title: What do you get a constipated mathematician? Punchline: Number Two. Alright, let’s dissect this comedic offering! Joke Breakdown: Setup: “What do you get Xena, Warrior…

I was driving behind a cereal truck when it lost its cargo

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

My car was Totalled. Okay, here’s a joke inspired by the original, playing with the same setup-punchline structure and a pun: Title: Joke Poo I was walking behind a dog groomer’s van…

The other day this guy cut me off in traffic.

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

As he passed he flipped me the bird, and yelled out the window. "I fucked your mom last night." . . . My dad can be a real asshole sometimes. Joke Poo:…

A guy was convicted of using too many commas

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

The judge gave him a long sentence Joke Poo: Title: The Dog Walker’s Dilemma A dog walker was fined heavily for leaving too much dog poo on the sidewalk. The judge gave…

Women are like eggs…

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Best not to keep them in the fridge Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the egg joke: Joke Poo: Politicians are Like Compost Politicians are like compost… Best to spread them…

There is a medical distinction between “Guts” and “Balls”, according to the British military. We’ve heard colleagues referring to people with “Guts” or with “Balls”.

Posted on June 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Here’s the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295. GUTS – Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife…

I only own 2 types of clothes. I wear my gym clothes when I exercise. For formal occassions

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

I wear my James clothes. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your joke, titled appropriately: Joke Poo: Dog Poo I only have two kinds of dog bags. I…

Twin girls were married to twin boys…

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

One night, after sex one of the girls says to her husband "I have something to confess… We were feeling adventurous, and we switched… I'm not Ava, I'm Anna…" The guy becomes…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
  • So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.
  • Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!
  • A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
  • A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
  • 3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question
  • My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.

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