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Lie detecting robot

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok. We were watching porn."

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." The robot slaps the mother.

Joke Poo: Truth Serum Soda

A company CEO, paranoid about leaks, develops a truth serum soda that makes people blurt out their honest thoughts. He decides to test it at a board meeting.

The CEO asks the CFO about the quarterly earnings report. The CFO says, “It’s a very promising reflection of our strategic initiatives and…” burp “…complete fabrication. We’re hemorrhaging money.”

The CEO, furious, asks the Head of Marketing about the new ad campaign. She replies, “It’s a bold, innovative, and attention-grabbing campaign designed to…” burp “…insult our target demographic and drive them to our competitors.”

The CEO explodes, “What is wrong with all of you?!” The Head of HR sighs, “Well, you’ve created a toxic work environment, filled with unrealistic expectations and…” burp “…nepotism. My god, you’re only in this position because your grandfather owned the company!”

The CEO’s assistant, normally quiet, giggles. “He’s right! And I’ve been putting decaf in your coffee for months because you’re unbearable on caffeine.” burp “Plus, your toupee looks like a dead squirrel.”

The CEO stares in stunned silence. His wife, who is present at the meeting, pats his hand. “Oh, honey,” she says sweetly, “Don’t take it so hard. At least you have money…” burp “…and a yacht. But honestly, you’re terrible in bed.”

Alright, let’s break down this lie detector robot joke and then inject it with some comedic steroids!

Joke Dissection:

  • Core Concept: A lie detector robot exposes the dishonesty within a family.
  • Humor Mechanism:
    • Irony: The technology, intended to reveal truth, instead reveals uncomfortable family secrets and hypocrisies.
    • Escalation: The lies get progressively worse (schoolwork -> movies -> porn), leading to increasing parental embarrassment.
    • Surprise: The mother’s final comment, meant to be lighthearted, backfires with a slap, implying her own infidelity/dishonesty.
    • Stereotypes: Plays on the stereotype of teenagers lying and parents being hypocritical.
  • Key Elements: Lie detector, father, son, mother, lies, awkward family dynamics.

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s focus on the lie detector aspect and weave in some historical/technological facts.

New Observation/Joke Variation:

Premise: You know, everyone jokes about lie detectors being unreliable…

Punchline: …and they are! But that’s before you put it into a family setting. Then suddenly, it’s like a truth-seeking heat-seeking missile, locked onto every prevarication since Uncle Barry blamed the dog for eating his tax returns. Turns out, the secret to a reliable lie detector isn’t better sensors, it’s a highly combustible mix of sibling rivalry, parental guilt, and the unspoken competition for Grandma’s will.

Why this works:

  • Plays on the original: Acknowledges the unreliability of lie detectors in general, but highlights their devastating effectiveness within families.
  • Humorous hyperbole: The “truth-seeking heat-seeking missile” image is funny.
  • Connects to real-world issues: References family dynamics, unspoken competitions, and the classic “blame the dog” trope.
  • Meta-commentary: Jokes about the underlying family issues that amplify the effect of the robot.

Another approach, a humorous “Did You Know?” angle:

Premise: Did you know the original lie detector, developed by William Moulton Marston, actually measured systolic blood pressure to detect deception?

Followed by a comedic twist: So essentially, Wonder Woman’s creator invented a machine that could be foiled by a good cup of coffee and a crippling fear of needles. Which explains why the truth serum in the comics always seemed so much more reliable! Also, I bet if Wonder Woman had used a lie detector on her own family she would have broken it almost immediately.

Why this works:

  • Factual basis: The statement about Marston is true. He also co-created Wonder Woman, which is a fantastic ironic contrast to the science of lie detection.
  • Comedic juxtaposition: Combining the flawed science with Wonder Woman is funny.
  • Relates to the original joke: The Wonder Woman twist brings the “family truth bomb” element of the original joke back into play.

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