One night the dad was listening to little Billy say his nightly prayers
" God Bless Momma, God Bless Daddy, God Bless Grandma, bye-bye grandpa"
Not thinking anything about it, he goes to bed and the next day went to work. When he arrived home, he noticed his wife was crying.
“Honey what is wrong”
Wife “My dad just died”
The dad thought it was weird and didn’t think of it again.
About two weeks later, the dad is listening to little Billy saying hir prayers.
“God Bless Momma, God bless Daddy, bye-bye grandma”
Not thinking anything about it, he goes to bed and the next day went to work. When he arrived home, he noticed his wife was crying.
“Honey what is wrong”
Wife “My mother just died”
Now that dad was a little concerned, but again didn’t think much about it.
A couple of weeks later, again the dad was listening to little Billy say his prayers.
“God bless mommy, bye-bye daddy”
Now the dad was scared, couldn’t sleep that night, he went to work sweating bullets all day, trying everything he could not to die. That evening he comes homes thinking man, I’m safe. Walks in and sees his wife crying.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
The wife “The mailman just died”
Original Joke:
One night the dad was listening to little Billy say his nightly prayers
"God Bless Momma, God Bless Daddy, God Bless Grandma, bye-bye grandpa"
Not thinking anything about it, he goes to bed and the next day went to work. When he arrived home, he noticed his wife was crying.
“Honey what is wrong”
Wife “My dad just died”
The dad thought it was weird and didn’t think of it again.
About two weeks later, the dad is listening to little Billy saying hir prayers.
“God Bless Momma, God bless Daddy, bye-bye grandma”
Not thinking anything about it, he goes to bed and the next day went to work. When he arrived home, he noticed his wife was crying.
“Honey what is wrong”
Wife “My mother just died”
Now that dad was a little concerned, but again didn’t think much about it.
A couple of weeks later, again the dad was listening to little Billy say his prayers.
“God bless mommy, bye-bye daddy”
Now the dad was scared, couldn’t sleep that night, he went to work sweating bullets all day, trying everything he could not to die. That evening he comes homes thinking man, I’m safe. Walks in and sees his wife crying.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
The wife “The mailman just died”
Joke Poo: The Parrot’s Predictions
A pirate captain kept a parrot on his shoulder that would squawk throughout the day. One day, the captain overhears the parrot squawking:
"Pieces of eight for Blackbeard! Pieces of eight for One-Eyed Jack! Gone, gone, ol’ Pegleg Pete!"
The captain raises an eyebrow but thinks nothing of it and heads to the tavern for the night. The next day, he learns that Pegleg Pete fell overboard and drowned. The captain shuddered, but dismissed it as mere coincidence.
A week later, the parrot squawks again:
"Pieces of eight for Blackbeard! Gone, gone, One-Eyed Jack!"
The captain is now seriously concerned, but still tries to ignore it. He goes to work the next day. That evening he discovers One-Eyed Jack caught his beard on the winch and was pulled under. The Captain went white but wrote it off as bad luck.
A couple of weeks later the Captain finds the Parrot with its eye on him, and it squawks:
"Gone, gone, Blackbeard!"
The Captain is terrified. He doesn’t sleep, eats nothing but dry crackers, and avoids any dangerous tasks. He spends the entire day hiding in his cabin, trembling. That evening, he hears a knock at the door. He cautiously opens it, and sees his first mate who has a sheepish look on his face.
"Cap’n," the first mate says. "Terrible news. We’re fresh out of Pieces of Eight."
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then inject some comedic enrichment.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Concept: A child’s nightly prayers become predictive of death.
- Setup: Little Billy’s prayers initially seem innocent, then eerily accurate in predicting the deaths of family members.
- Twist/Punchline: The father dreads his predicted demise, but the punchline subverts expectations. It’s not the father who dies, but the mailman.
- Humor Source:
- Suspense and Misdirection: The joke builds suspense, leading the listener to expect the father’s death.
- Absurdity: The idea that a child’s prayer could cause death is inherently absurd.
- Unexpected Outcome: The substitution of the mailman is unexpected and funny because it has no logical connection within the context of the prayer. This contrast creates the laugh.
- Implied Cuckoldry: The punchline subtly hints at a possible affair between the wife and the mailman, which adds another layer of dark humor.
Comedic Enrichment – Using Postal Trivia
Let’s build on the mailman element with some factual or slightly twisted postal trivia to craft a new joke.
Did you know: In the early days of the US Postal Service, mail carriers sometimes had to deliver mail on horseback, fighting off bandits and, occasionally, aggressive wild animals like bears.
New Joke:
Little Billy is saying his nightly prayers: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, bye-bye mailman." The dad, knowing the history, clutches his chest, sweating. "Oh no," he moans, "not again!"
The wife looks confused. "Why are you so worried? He’s not even that old."
"But honey," the dad whispers, "Did you know, back in the 1800s, mailmen rode horses and fought off bears? It’s not the mailman that’s dying… it’s my equine future!"
Analysis of New Joke:
- It retains the original joke’s format of Billy’s prayers predicting a death.
- It incorporates the knowledge of early mail carrier risks, specifically animal attacks.
- It amplifies the absurdity by suggesting that Billy’s curse applies a historical hazard rather than directly causing a death.
- It adds a secondary punchline to the punchline by hinting at a fear of horses or a bizarre, specific historical reenactment accident.
- It retains the element of misdirection, as the father is initially afraid for the same reason as in the original, but the twist leads to a less serious outcome.