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Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…

Posted on September 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand.

He runs to his teacher shouting "Cider, Cider, Cider!".

His teacher calms him down and ask why he needs cider.

He says "I have a splinter in my hand so I need cider!"

Teacher is confused and says "Why would you need cider for a splinter?"

Johnny explains, well, I overheard my sister talking to her friend and she said "Whenever she get's a prick in her hand, she puts it in cider"!

Joke Poo: Little Timmy’s Potty Problem

Little Timmy is playing in the sandbox when he gets sand in his diaper…

He waddles to his grandpa shouting, “Cocoa, Cocoa, Cocoa!”

His grandpa calms him down and asks why he needs cocoa.

He says, “I got sand in my diaper, so I need cocoa!”

Grandpa is confused and says, “Why would you need cocoa for sand in your diaper?”

Timmy explains, “Well, I overheard mommy talking to her friend, and she said, ‘Whenever I get shit in my pants, I put it in cocoa!'”

Alright, let’s dive into this Little Johnny joke.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: A typical “Little Johnny” situation involving an everyday childhood incident (a splinter).
  • Punchline Trigger: The misunderstanding. Little Johnny misinterprets his sister’s romantic (or suggestive) statement as a remedy for a splinter.
  • Humor Mechanism:
    • Misinterpretation: The core of the joke. A child literally interprets a figurative, adult phrase.
    • Innocence vs. Innuendo: The juxtaposition of Johnny’s innocent injury and the sister’s implied sexual activity creates humor.
    • Unexpected Connection: The audience’s surprise at the nonsensical link between splinter and cider.

Key Elements:

  1. Splinter: A small piece of wood embedded in the skin.
  2. Cider: Apple cider, a beverage.
  3. Misunderstood Innuendo: The sister’s suggestive remark.
  4. Little Johnny’s Innocence: A child’s naive interpretation.

Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:

Let’s focus on the “cider” element and play with the idea of unconventional remedies.

New Joke:

Little Timmy scraped his knee playing soccer. He ran crying to his mom, “Mom, Mom! I need vinegar!”

His mom, confused, asked, “Vinegar? Why do you need vinegar for a scraped knee?”

Timmy replied, “Well, I heard you telling Dad last night that you wanted to ‘pickle his pickle’ and he felt better right away!”

Witty Observation:

“Parenting: Where you realize that everything you say, no matter how innocuous, can and will be weaponized against you in the form of a bizarre medical prescription by your offspring.”

Amusing “Did You Know?” (playing on the misinterpretation):

“Did you know that while apple cider is a refreshing beverage, it’s significantly less effective at removing splinters than it is at… well, let’s just say it has ‘other’ uses according to certain overly-candid sisters. Consult a medical professional, not your older sibling’s gossip, for actual splinter removal advice!”

Why these work:

  • The new joke follows the same structure as the original, substituting the elements.
  • The witty observation acknowledges the comedic reality of parental communication, twisting the humor into something relatable.
  • The “Did You Know?” is satirical, poking fun at the premise of using cider for splinter removal while hinting at the suggestive undertones.

By focusing on the core ingredients of the original joke and using them in a new setting, we create a humourous situation that is new, yet similar to the first!

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