The door opens, and an astonished elderly nun looks out. "Pardon me, Sister," says one, "but would you happen to have a nun living here who's about this high"? He holds his hand about as high as his head. "No!", she exclaims, "I know of no nun in the convent who's that tall!". She pauses, then says, "but our Mother Superior who lives the next town over might know". She gives directions, and slams the door, muttering under her breath.
The two small leprechauns find the house in the next town. Again they knock on the door, and an even older nun answers. The first one asks again, "Excuse me Sister, but would you know of any nuns that are about this high?", again indicating the height of his head. "No! Of course not! There isn't a nun of that height in the whole county"! Frustrated, the first one says, "Well, do you know anyone else that might know"? She thinks a minute. "Well, a few miles down the road lives my predecessor. She's the oldest nun in all of Ireland, so if anyone would know, she would"! So the two thanked her and walked away.
Hours later, after miles of walking, they at last reached the house if the oldest nun in all of Ireland. They knocked several times, and at last, a small, wizened nun answers (alas, too tall). Again, they asked the same question. "I know of every Sister in the whole blessed country, and I can state emphatically there is NO NUN living who is that short"! With that, she slams the door in their faces!
Sadly, the two wee men walk towards the curb, where they sat dejectedly. Finally, the one turns to the other and exclaims, " See! I TOLD you you were f*ckin' a penguin"!!
Joke Poo: The Missing Astronaut
Two squirrels, Nutsy and Bolt, stood nervously outside the NASA headquarters.
The door slid open, revealing a stern-looking scientist in a lab coat. "Can I help you?" she asked, peering down at them.
"Excuse us, Doctor," Nutsy squeaked, "but we were wondering if you had any astronauts working here who are about… this tall?" He held his paw a mere inch off the ground.
The scientist raised an eyebrow. "No! Absolutely not! We have no astronauts that small. Our training program is very rigorous. You’re mistaken." She began to close the door. "Perhaps you should check the petting zoo?"
Nutsy, undeterred, called out, "But do you know anyone who might know about such a small astronaut?"
The scientist paused, stroking her chin. "Well, down the road, at the Kennedy Space Center, is the man who oversaw the entire Apollo program. If anyone knows of a miniature astronaut, it would be him." She gave them directions and slammed the door.
Hours later, after navigating a maze of parking lots and dodging golf carts, they found the old engineer’s office. They knocked, and a weary-looking man with a slide rule hanging from his belt answered.
"Yes?" he grumbled.
"Sir," Bolt stammered, "we’re looking for an astronaut who’s about this tall," indicating the minuscule height.
The engineer sighed. "Astronaut? That small? Impossible! We use meticulously selected professionals! There’s no way… Unless…" He tapped his temple. "…there was that experimental bio-engineering project in ’78, but that was top secret. Even if it succeeded, that was decades ago! I highly doubt…" He trailed off, shaking his head and slamming the door.
Defeated, Nutsy and Bolt trudged towards the curb. They slumped down, utterly disheartened.
Finally, Bolt turned to Nutsy, his fur bristling. "See! I TOLD you it was a hamster in a spacesuit!"
Alright, let’s break down this joke and spin some comedic gold from it.
Joke Deconstruction:
- Setup: Two leprechauns are on a quest to find a nun of a specific height. They go to multiple convents, encountering increasingly old nuns. The absurdly persistent questioning creates anticipation.
- Misdirection: The escalating search leads the audience to believe the punchline will somehow involve a hidden short nun, perhaps with a funny backstory or secret identity.
- Punchline: The abrupt reveal that the leprechaun was, in fact, "with" a penguin is shocking and unexpected. The height question, the entire quest, was just a ridiculous alibi. It’s funny because it’s simultaneously crude, absurd, and violates the audience’s expectations.
- Key Elements:
- Leprechauns (mythical creatures, associated with Ireland and trickery)
- Nuns (religious figures, typically seen as chaste and pious)
- Height discrepancy (the core of the misdirection)
- The "big reveal" of the penguin (animal humor, shock value)
Enrichment & New Humor:
Now, let’s use these elements to craft something new. I’ll focus on the leprechaun aspect and the absurdity of the quest.
New Humorous Take:
Did you know: Leprechauns, despite their reputation for hiding pots of gold, actually have abysmal spatial reasoning skills?
The Setup: Two leprechauns are arguing, maps spread out on a toadstool.
The Dialogue:
"I’m telling you, Finnegan, the end of the rainbow clearly lands on the roof of St. Bernadette’s!"
"Are you daft, Seamus? It’s obviously pointing toward that nun’s beehive hairdo! See, the shimmer? It bends around the convent, not through it!"
(A very tired badger pokes his head out of his burrow.)
Badger: "Look, fellas, I’ve been listening for hours. Just admit it. You’re both lost, and you probably saw the rainbow’s end in the reflection of that tin roof over there."
(Finnegan and Seamus stare blankly at the badger.)
Finnegan: "Well, now what are we going to do?"
Seamus: "I guess we can go over to St. Bernadette’s and measure the nun’s beehive hairdo?"
Enrichment Explanation:
This take uses the leprechaun’s mythical nature (rainbows, gold) but subverts it by making them incompetent at their supposed area of expertise. The "did you know" sets up the context. The badger provides a dose of reality and cuts through the leprechaun’s delusion. The mention of the nun’s beehive hairdo is a funny image, adding another layer of absurdity. The reference to the St. Bernadette’s convent links to the original joke’s setting, making it a humorous callback.
Why it works:
- Subverts expectations: We expect leprechauns to be clever and know their way around rainbows and gold.
- Absurdity: The idea of measuring a nun’s beehive hairdo to find the end of a rainbow is inherently ridiculous.
- Relatability: Everyone has experienced being hopelessly lost, even if they’re not mythical creatures.
- Character-driven: The interaction between the stubborn leprechauns and the exasperated badger adds to the comedic effect.