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Category: Long

Bear encounter

Posted on August 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

A hunter goes into the woods and runs into a big bear. He grabs his rifle, aims… and misses! The bear tackles him and, well… let’s just say the bear has his…

A man goes to hell

Posted on August 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man dies and gets sent to hell. The devil welcomes him and takes him on the usual tour. They come to one door and look in. This place is filled with…

A priest, a pastor, an imam, and a rabbi are playing poker.

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Suddenly, the police burst in, and they quickly hide the cards and chips. Suspiciously, a police officer tells them that they had recieved a tip about illegal gambling happening on the property….

A politician dies and get to choose between heaven and hell

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Politician dies and is given the choice between going to Heaven or Hell, but first he is given a tour of both places. The tour of Heaven goes as expected, it's all…

A male patient is lying in a hospital bed, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

A pretty, young, student nurse arrives to give him a sponge bath. “Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse says, “I don’t know, sir…

Paddy was looking for work and spotted a job ad for a door-to-door Bible salesman.

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

So he suited up and headed into town. He walked into the boss’s office and said, “P-P-Paddy h-h-here to a-a-apply for th-th-the job.” The boss raised an eyebrow and said, “Sorry Paddy,…

A very elegant lady was flying in from Switzerland when she found herself seated next to a kindly old priest.

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

“Excuse me, Father,” she whispered, “may I ask a huge favor?” “Of course, my child. What troubles you?” “I bought this ultra-expensive hair removal device, but I’ve gone way over the duty-free…

When I was younger, I really didn’t understand science

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I was confused by forces so I paid my friend a cool goose feather and a cent to teach me (it was a limited edition and he collected coins and we were…

Guy moves in next to a farm

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

He sees that in farmer's field, there are goats for a couple of weeks. After that, the goats are replaced with horses. Another couple of weeks go by an the horses are…

Drunk guy

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

A drunken man stumbles onto the shooting range at the local fair. Eyes half-closed, swaying like a tree in a storm, he slurs, “Heeey… can I shhhoot?!” The man behind the counter…

Posts pagination

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south

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