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Category: Long

Mystery mark

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

A woman walks into the doctor’s office, a little concerned. “Doctor,” she says, “every morning I wake up with this weird grey smudge on my lower belly.” The doctor frowns, examines the…

A cowboy who just moved to Wyoming from Oklahoma walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud!

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

A cowboy who just moved to Wyoming from Oklahoma walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He heads to the back, sipping each one in turn. When he finishes,…

Nicola’s wedding day was fast approaching, and nothing could dampen her excitement!

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Nicola’s wedding day was fast approaching, and nothing could dampen her excitement — not even her parents’ unpleasant and acrimonious divorce. Her mom had found the perfect dress and was sure she’d…

A man sitting at a bar after work shares with the bartender why he is looking so stressed.

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

"I’m not sleeping well. I have nightmares about a monster under my bed and I am too embarrassed to seek help." A patron nearby overhears this and introduces himself. "I overheard your…

Unusual Family Values

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Sent to me by someone calling…

Dave and Pete were a couple of drinking buddies!

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Dave and Pete were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in New York. One day, the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with…

Flat tire by the asylum…

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man stopped his car to change a flat tire, happened to be right in front of the local insane asylum. Jacked up the car, popped off the hub cap, undid the…

Communism

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Jim and Joe talk about communism. "I don't know how it works" says Jim. "That is easy" says John. "See, you have two donkeys and I have none. You give me one…

Hunter Killer, Red October, Crimson Tide, and Das Boot walk into a bar.

Posted on August 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of subtext?" Das Boot orders a beer, but insists it must be authentic, unfiltered, and served under immense psychological pressure. Crimson Tide…

My late grandfather’s favorite joke. A man is in an insane asylum…

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man is in an insane asylum and is assessed by a doctor for release. All the staff says he's totally fine to be returned to normal life, and this is his…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?

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