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Category: Long

One day, out of the blue, a train driver sends the train careening off the tracks into a lake, ending the lives of everyone on board.

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

When the police find him at the scene of the crime, he says that he did it because they all deserved to die. He is arrested, tried, found guilty, and sentenced to…

There was once an old man whose family couldn’t take care of him any longer.

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because of that, the family had decided that a nursing home would be the best solution for the grumpy old man. Of course he directly rejected the idea, but his family stood…

Tight shoes

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks into a high-end shoe store and points straight at a sleek, expensive pair. “I want those,” he says. “Excellent choice,” says the salesman. “They’re $600. What size are you?”…

Cat.

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man who lived at home with his grand ma and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to tell him of any…

Four businessmen held a reunion after not seeing each other since university

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

All had become successful and rich in the intervening forty years, and were having dinner in a very expensive restaurant when one of them received a call on his mobile. He excused…

A lawyer sits next to a blonde on a plane.

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

The blonde turns to the window to get some sleep, but the lawyer, knowing he's definitely smarter than this lady, decides to make a quick buck off her. He taps her on…

A blonde guy comes home early from work and hears weird noises coming from the bedroom.

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

He races upstairs and finds his wife, completely naked, sweating and panting like she ran a marathon. “WHAT is going on?!” he shouts. She thinks quick and gasps, “I-I-I think I’m having…

After 60 years of marriage, Earl and Mabel made a deal.

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Whoever kicks the bucket first has to come back and let the other know if there’s sex in the afterlife. Because let’s be honest – no one wants to be stuck in…

A penguin walks into a bar…

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Got any fish?"   The bartender says no and the penguin leaves. Next day the penguin walks back in and asks the bartender…

A man is sitting in a bar.

Posted on July 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

One table over sits a lonely woman. "She’s unbelievably pretty!" the man thinks. "I’d love to talk to her… but what should I say? I’m so damn shy that I just blurt…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?

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