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Category: Long

A man is sitting in a bar.

Posted on July 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

One table over sits a lonely woman. "She’s unbelievably pretty!" the man thinks. "I’d love to talk to her… but what should I say? I’m so damn shy that I just blurt…

A Mexican crosses the US border on his bicycle with a large sack.

Posted on July 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

The border patrol agent stops and asks him what’s in the sack. “Senór, it’s just grass.” The agent looks into the sack and let’s him pass. The following week, the Mexican crosses…

Transylvania vacation

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and…

A rough old general has heard about a unit with the toughest soldiers around and decides to check them out.

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

After reviewing the troops on parade he visits the medical tent to meet the soldiers. The general barks at the first soldier, "Why are you here, soldier?" "Hemorrhoids, Sir!" "And how are…

A married couple were arguing while travelling for dinner at a posh restaurant.

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

They yelled and swore at each other almost all the way and just before they arrived, the wife said to the husband: "You are very lucky to have me, no other normal…

A man went clothes shopping

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man went clothes shopping. As he was picking out his new shirt, a woman asked him what he thought of the dress she was holding. He was no fashion designer, but…

A bear shat in the woods…

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

and wanted to find something to wipe his ass. He looked around, found a white bunny and asked, "Hey, you have any problem with shit sticking to your fur?" Bunny replied, "No,…

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk.

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for two thousand roubles or one from Minsk for one thousand roubles. Being frugal, they bought the…

A muscular young man was boasting about his physique on the building site where he worked.

Posted on July 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He claimed he could beat anyone on the site in a trial of strength and took particular delight in mocking one of the older workers. Eventually the older man became irritated by…

A Russian was complaining about not being able to buy a sewing machine.

Posted on July 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

"The shop tells me they have sold this year's allocation, and no more will be delivered," he told his friend. "Easy enough," said his friend. "Go to Tula where the factory is…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

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