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Category: Long

St.Peter Decides He’s Accepting Only Amusing Cases To Heaven…

Posted on July 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

…as he's bored with all the people's typical deaths and wants to shake it up, just for one day. First person is at the Gates. Peter says "I'm letting you in only…

A businessman travelling through rural England decided to stop the night at a picturesque country inn, the George and Dragon.

Posted on July 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Checking-in at reception, he asked the lady co-owner whether meals were still being served at the bar. “No,” she replied forcefully. “Last meals are 8 p.m. sharp. It is now 8.10 p.m.”…

The new seaman

Posted on July 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

“A Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name sailor?”“John,” the new seaman replied.“Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re…

My Dad’s favorite joke

Posted on July 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy had been a hunter all his life. He was obsessed with it so much that his long-suffering wife decided in the spring that she was going with him for the…

A ninety-five-year-old man married a twenty-three-year-old girl

Posted on July 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

prompting fears for his health from the wedding guests. They were afraid that the wedding night might prove fatal because he was a frail old man and she was a vivacious young…

A girl runs under a church awning to escape the rain.

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

A priest at the door greets her. "Are you all right, my dear?" "Yes, I'm fine!" she exclaims. "It's just absolutely pouring rain!" Suddenly, the sky opens up, and water begins to…

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

Curious, he walks in and asks the owner, “So, what can your dog do?” The owner points to the dog and says, “Go ahead, tell him.” The dog looks up and says,…

An old couple had been married for 50 years.

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

Every single morning – like clockwork – the husband would let out a thunderous fart as he got out of bed, then laugh like a lunatic. And every single morning, his wife…

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?”

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender shrugs, “Sure, why not?” The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a tiny rat. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano. The rat stretches,…

I’m a corn, not a man!

Posted on July 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

There was once a man who had a strange and terrifying problem—every time he saw a chicken, he would scream and run for his life. Why? Because he believed he was a…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?

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