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Category: Long

A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

The man rolls his window down as the cop approaches, who says, "Sir, any reason you're driving so fast?" "Well," the guy says, "I've recently decided to try beekeeping, and I need…

The speeding biker

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

A Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, and he asks the biker his name. "Fred," he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred,"…

At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

“But I don’t know who to pray for,” he said. His dad smiled and said, “Just pray for your family, friends, neighbors, the poor and those in need – things like that.”…

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

That night, the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same s*xy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said, “Honey, do you remember this?”…

A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

She pulls over as the local farmer comes out in hysterics. "My god! That was my prized egg laying hen! We're already underwater on the house; how will I feed my family…

A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

On the table, she begins to pray, "Dear Lord, please let me get through the surgery all right." She hears that voice, "Don't worry my child, you will live to be 87yo."…

Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

Interviewer: Black one Farmer: 2 liters per day. Interviewer: And the white one? Farmer: 2 liters per day. Interviewer: Where do they sleep? Farmer: The black one or the White one? Interviewer:…

MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

They call it the General Online Linguistic Function test, GOLF for short. A local man is thrilled to discover that he has received the highest possible score. In fact, MENSA is so…

A woman cheats on her husband

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

A woman cheats on her husband after years of happy marriage Realizing her mistake, she starts praying to God. "Lord, I know what I did was wrong, but my marriage is the…

Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs:…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida

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