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Category: Long

A Scottish soldier in full dress uniform marches into a chemist shop.

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The…

Did you know that sperm cells of a whale are amongst the largest of all animals?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Did you know that the sperm cells of a whale are amongst the largest of all animals? It's true. Each individual cell is about the size of a minnow and can swim…

Also at a posh suburban girls junior college….

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Also at a posh suburban girls junior college… A student went to visit her professor after class. "Professor", she said, " I am not doing well in your class. I am VERY…

A bunch of redditors get together and purchase a ride on a submarine that will cruise the deep sea, searching for the mythical “girlfriend fish”.

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Legend has it, she laughs at all your jokes and loves you right, if you're funny. They all want their shot, but its an hour long dive. To pass the time, they…

A man rents a room.

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

He pays extra on the condition the landlady prepare his work lunch every day. So on the first day, she packs him a sandwich on normal white bread, using the last night's…

What a coincidence

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne. The woman said : "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne." "What…

A grizzly-looking man—well-built, with guns hanging from his waist—walks into a tavern.

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

He heads straight to the bartender, orders three shots, and downs them one after the other. He scans the room, and the people shift uncomfortably. The tension is thick. Then, without a…

Two men are sailing around the world, doing a ton of drugs, when a violent squall hits out of nowhere. In the chaos, they accidentally blow a seal in the engine and drift onto a deserted island.

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

They both survive, and the next day set out to explore the island. They see some seagulls, seals, coconuts, and also, rare psychoactive berries! Being who they are, they both eat a…

Three cowboys, one campfire, and a whole lot of testosterone…

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Three tough cowboys were sitting around the campfire one night, bragging about how fearless and rugged they are. The first one says: "Just yesterday, I was walking along Dead Man’s Trail when…

Two babies are born in the same hospital, at the exact same time

Posted on June 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Two babies are born in the same hospital, at the exact same time. Room 203, side by side in their little incubators. Nurses say it was adorable—both boys, blinking up at the…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • There’s an old joke about the difference between American and Russian corruption.
  • Doctor’s advice for premature ejaculation didn’t go as planned
  • A man wakes up hungover in an alley with his pants off, and notices two colored rings painted on this dick, one brown, one red
  • Scientists took out the left half of a man’s brain
  • A widower goes to a psychic to contact his late wife. “Honey,” he says. “Are you happy?”
  • New Zealand would be so safe in case of a world war
  • A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you have any antiseptics here?”
  • I spent a whole year making a belt out of clocks for a fat guy.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Knock knock
  • Charley Pride was a legendary musician
  • Women are confusing. On my wife’s birthday, I wish her a Happy Birthday and she smiles happily at me
  • I’m AM going to put glue on my hands and then handle firearms. Nobody can tell me otherwise.
  • Why did Shakespeare only use quills
  • What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
  • Do the laundry
  • A couple invited their family over for Thanksgiving night to spend the holiday and meal together.
  • Three men are in an airplane. One is the pilot, the other two are a hippie and the someone self described as the world’s smartest man
  • Hi. What’s your name?
  • Guy goes to doctor about a sex addiction problem.
  • So a farmer asks a friend to come over to his place to help him fix his generator.
  • 1 in 4 people admit that they have texted while driving
  • Don’t feel like getting up in the morning to go to work?
  • I like to hibernate during the winter
  • 50 Cent started rapping in 1996
  • Timmy asks his Father how politics work
  • Teacher gift
  • What comes after a sextillion.
  • My son walked in with a rock in his hand
  • My child told me that I was an out of touch old fool.
  • An 89 year old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties.
  • The doctor says I have ADHD
  • A group of third, fourth and fifth graders
  • The secret to a conflictless marriage
  • There is something I don’t understand about 69
  • A Tibetan man, an Indian man, a German man and a Maltese man die and go to purgatory
  • A woman walks into a hospital wheeling her husband with her in a wheelbarrow
  • When do horses eat the most?
  • Confucius say…
  • An infinite line of mathematicians walk into a bar…
  • What was the quiet pooper’s motto?
  • Bartender looking at the client’s empty glass in front of him: “Would you like another one?”
  • What US military branch is the most patriotic?
  • Why is a car ferry like a condom?
  • Knock knock
  • Doing the Laundry (true story)
  • A Scottish soldier in full dress uniform marches into a chemist shop.
  • A software tester walks into a bar.
  • Do you have an acronym for TESLA?
  • The Garden

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