And noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable…
Category: Long
“55 northern 9th” the guy was told, “best blowjob ever.” So he goes there.
"How much is it please?" he asks the girl. "That's 500 for the handjob and 1500 for the blowjob." The man frowns a bit and says "You know i was told you…
A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven.
Upon entering heaven, he sees two lines leading to the pearly gates: the free will line, and the predestination line. Naturally he goes to the predestination line. While waiting in queue, an…
The billionaire and the mermaid whisperer
A billionaire is sailing his yacht past a lighthouse, and he sees the elderly lighthouse keeper out on the rocks at the base of the lighthouse, getting a blowjob from a mermaid…
One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.
One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. "Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks. "Well", she replies, "My boss and I played the lottery and we…
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time!
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but…
A woman with a passion for gardening was growing increasingly frustrated.
A woman with a passion for gardening was growing increasingly frustrated. No matter what she did, her tomatoes just wouldn’t turn red. One afternoon, while walking past her neighbor’s garden, she couldn’t…
A blonde woman was driving along the highway!
A blonde woman was driving along the highway, about two hours outside San Diego, when she saw a man waving her down. His truck was parked on the shoulder, clearly broken down….
Single vulture dad problems
A vulture was flying back to his nest after a long day out looking for food. When he arrived, the nest was filthy and his son was snacking and playing video games….
Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen were sitting in a sauna only covered by a towel.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. ‘That was my pager,’ she said. ‘I have a microchip…