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Category: Long

So a farmer asks a friend to come over to his place to help him fix his generator.

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

They work for a while, and two cows come walking through the pasture beside the barn. The friend looks over and says, "Wow. Those are some fine looking animals. Where do they…

Timmy asks his Father how politics work

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

His father thinks for a while and starts to explain: "Let's take a look at our household. Your mother keeps things running around here and makes the rules. She's the government. I…

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local racecourse to learn about thoroughbred racehorses. In the course of the tour some of the children wanted to go…

The secret to a conflictless marriage

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man having constant marital troubles consulted his friend who never seemed to have any argument with his wife. He advised, “The secret to my peaceful marriage is this golden arrangement- I…

A Tibetan man, an Indian man, a German man and a Maltese man die and go to purgatory

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

A Tibetan man, an Indian man, a German man and a Maltese man die and go to purgatory. And to pass the time, they begin discussing how they died. The Tibetan man…

A woman walks into a hospital wheeling her husband with her in a wheelbarrow

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

She stops at the front desk and talks to the admitting nurse. "Good day," she says. "Something is wrong with my husband. He was very difficult to wake up this morning, he…

A Scottish soldier in full dress uniform marches into a chemist shop.

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The…

Did you know that sperm cells of a whale are amongst the largest of all animals?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Did you know that the sperm cells of a whale are amongst the largest of all animals? It's true. Each individual cell is about the size of a minnow and can swim…

Also at a posh suburban girls junior college….

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Also at a posh suburban girls junior college… A student went to visit her professor after class. "Professor", she said, " I am not doing well in your class. I am VERY…

A bunch of redditors get together and purchase a ride on a submarine that will cruise the deep sea, searching for the mythical “girlfriend fish”.

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Legend has it, she laughs at all your jokes and loves you right, if you're funny. They all want their shot, but its an hour long dive. To pass the time, they…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • My girlfriend asked me to roleplay as a cheater, so I said okay.
  • A married couple were shopping in the supermarket
  • At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”
  • Why did the philosopher refuse to clean his room?
  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”

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