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Category: Long

Ma and Pa were two old folks living out on a farm up in the hills.

Posted on July 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

One day, Pa found out that the hole under the outhouse was full. He went into the farmhouse and told Ma that he didn’t know what to do to empty the hole….

Adam a new recruit

Posted on July 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

Adam, a fresh Navy recruit, was eager on his first day aboard the submarine. He reported to the officer, who sized him up and gave his first order. "Adam, I need you…

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was.

Posted on July 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny – but everyone else laughed, so clearly someone was wrong. My parents always…

A young family moved into the house next door to a vacant lot.

Posted on July 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

One day, a construction crew showed up to build a home on it. Their 5-year-old daughter was fascinated and spent every day watching the crew work. Eventually, the rough-and-ready workers adopted her…

An Irish man walks into a bar

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

He sits down and says “three Irish whiskeys please”. The bartender serves him the three Irish whiskeys as requested. A week later the same Irish man enters the bar and orders the…

The husband leans over and asks his wife…

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we made whoopee, over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern, you leaned against the back…

A couple in their nineties were both having memory problems.

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

During a check-up, the doctor said they were physically fine but might want to start writing things down to help with their forgetfulness. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man…

A man stops off at a bar after work

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

He'd had a long day and wanted a quick drink before going home. As he walks up to the bar, it dawns on him. He's in a gay bar! Not a problem,…

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

We had plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I’d been shopping with my friends all day and figured he was upset I was running a bit late — but…

ARTI the hitman

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks into the pub and the barman looks at him and says "you okay John, you looked really pissed off?" "No" John replied "I've had a guts full of my…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.

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