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Category: Long

A man gets called to the hospital where his wife has been laying in a coma for a few months…

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctors pull the husband aside and say, "Your wife’s been unresponsive for months… but we’ve noticed something unusual. During sponge baths, her brain activity spikes whenever we clean… a certain area."…

Teddy Bear Collection

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

A woman meets a fantastic man in a bar. They chat, get closer, and eventually leave the bar together. They go to his apartment, and as she looks around, she sees a…

A long time ago, in a quaint little village, there was a yearly tradition.

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

The people of the village, who were usually very polite and God-fearing, would, for one day, participate in a competition to see who was the best "swearer". Once a year, everyone gathered…

Financial Planning

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father, and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father…

Got 1 Dollah ?

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

So a couple of Bruddahs are hunting pigs on Mauna Kea on the island of Hawaii. 1 guy says, Ho brah, I gotta take one poop. Otha guy says, Yeah me too….

Once there was a regional darts champion, who found that his darts flew with even greater accuracy after he’d had a drink or two.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Unfortunately, all of his local mates quickly learned to never wager against him, especially if he had been drinking. One night, he arrived at the pub to find a stranger standing on…

After having a few glasses of wine at lunch, two elderly women were driving home in a large car.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Being short, like many elderly women are, both of them could barely see over the dashboard. As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The light was red… but they drove…

One Sunday, while counting the offering, the Pastor of a small church noticed a pink envelope containing $1,000.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

It happened again the next week… and again the next! Finally, curious, he watched the collection plate and spotted an elderly woman placing the pink envelope. Week after week, the same routine….

A dog owner is with his dog in a park

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

He says "Rex, how many ducks are in the pond?" Rex runs to the pond, comes back and barks 4 times. Some guy watching this goes to the pond and sees there's…

The longest joke I’ve ever heard

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

This has definitely been told before probably on this sub even, but here's my rendition of it: So there’s this group of 4 kids, they like exploring in the woods, and in…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades

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